Uploads from Outside The Order

Currently Playing: My Whole Life Has Happened In My Head

My whole life happened in my head. That's the part nobody knows about me. I replay conversations that ended hours ago and give them different endings. I win arguments that never actually happened. I've had whole fights with people who have no idea any of it took place. It started small. Thinking about what I should've said. Then it just kept going. Scenarios built out of nothing, full conversations, situations that felt as real as anything that actually happened to me. After a while the made up stuff started feeling just as real as the real stuff. It feels like a superpower when you're in it. Like you're three steps ahead of everyone. But it's the opposite of that. It's the reason I never actually lived a lot of it. I played things out so many times in my head that I never went and did them. Talked myself through it, won the conversation in my mind, and then never actually had it. Years of that adds up to a lot of life that just didn't happen. I don't think I'm crazy. I think I just got stuck living somewhere that wasn't real, and I didn't notice how much time passed while I was there. Does your head ever run like this? Let me know below. If this one hit close, subscribe and stay a while. This is Outside The Order. #overthinking #mentalhealth #realtalk #workingclass #emptiness