Uploads from Outside The Order

Currently Playing: I Don't Belong Anywhere

I don't belong anywhere. I've spent my whole life around people and I still don't know where I fit. Not at work. Not at family dinners. Not in a crowd. Nowhere. I think I clocked it early. Some moment as a kid where it hit me that these weren't my people, and I've been quietly looking ever since. I'm not broken and I don't think they were either. I just never bought into the stuff everyone else seemed to buy into. And you feel it at 34 the same way you felt it at 9. Everyone around you fits, and you're watching from the outside. So you fake it. You nod along to conversations you couldn't care less about, you perform a little interest so nobody notices you've checked out. You get good at it. It still drains you every single time, and you go home feeling more alone than before you left. The one that hits hardest is family. That's supposed to feel like home and it just doesn't. I love them. I still don't fully belong at the table. And when you feel like a stranger surrounded by your own family, you start to wonder if the problem is you. I don't hate people. I just can't find my people. And maybe that's the whole reason I started talking here. Where do you actually feel like you belong? If the answer is nowhere, you're not the only one. Subscribe if this hit home. This is Outside The Order. #lonely #dontbelong #loneliness #realtalk #outsidetheorder