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Currently Playing: Dating Made Me Feel Worthless

Dating made me feel worthless. I've gone on dates and come home feeling worse than when I left. I've sat on apps getting nothing back. Both left me feeling worth less than before I started. The silence is the part that gets me. Talk to someone for days, then nothing. No reason, no goodbye, and sometimes the chat's just gone because they deleted you and moved on. At least a rejection means you existed. You don't even get to be turned down. And then I start auditing myself. Photos, opener, height, job, what's wrong with me. I've had a whole life of real interactions with people and this thing has me questioning all of it. That's the worthless part. Not the app itself, but what it makes me do to myself afterward. Then there's the dates. Pay for dinner, pay for the night out, pay for someone else's experience. I've done it enough times to know exactly how I feel driving home. Like a bank machine, not a person. And you're one of forty tabs open. It's not that they found someone better, it's that you were never really a person to them. I'm old school. If I'm talking to someone, that's where my time and energy goes. One person at a time. The apps aren't built to get you off the app. They're built to keep you on it, and the fewer matches you get, the more you spend. And Monday I go back to work and nobody knows any of this happened. Did the apps ever make you feel better about yourself? Even once? Subscribe if this hit home. This is Outside The Order. #dating #datingapps #modernlife #realtalk #outsidetheorder