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Currently Playing: I Can't Remember The Last Time I Relaxed

I can't remember the last time I actually relaxed. Not just sat down. Actually relaxed. Like it left at some point and I don't know how to get it back. It follows me everywhere. I leave work but work doesn't leave me. I'm still running through the day in my head at nine at night sitting on my own couch. The job's fast and it's chaotic and that noise just stays in my head long after I've clocked out. My body never seems to fully calm down either. Anxiety spikes it, stress spikes it again, and after a while it forgets how to settle. Small things set me off because the tank's already full before the day even starts. And here's the part that's strange. Even good things feel like pressure now. Something I actually want to do turns into something I dread the second it's on the calendar. The obligation of it kills it before it starts. Then the day ends and the stuff that was supposed to be mine, the things I actually wanted to do for me, never happened. Work took all of it. That gap never closes. I know stress kills people. I'm trying to deal with it. It just runs in my family and it's a hard thing to unlearn. But I'm trying. When's the last time you actually relaxed? Let me know below. If this hit close, subscribe and stick around. This is Outside The Order. #stress #burnout #realtalk #workingclass #anxiety