Lightning & Venom ⚡🐍

Currently Playing: Stop the Presses! | The Daily Prophet's Failed Scoop

One reporter. One scandal. One very small beetle. 🪲 The Daily Prophet's most ruthless reporter is chasing the Hogwarts love story of the century... and everyone keeps getting in her way. 🎵 Music: Suno V6 🎨 Art: Anima ✍️ Lyrics, editing & everything else: Zandran × Alarix ⏱️ Chapters 0:00 Intro: Special Correspondent 0:29 Verse 1: The Great Hall 0:56 Pre-Chorus: The Deadline 1:09 Chorus: Stop the Presses! 1:38 Verse 2: The Library 2:06 Pre-Chorus 2:19 Chorus 2:46 Verse 3: The Twins 3:14 Bridge: Every Door in Hogwarts 3:44 Breakdown: The Astronomy Tower 4:06 A Voice Behind Me 4:21 Final Chorus 4:50 Outro: The Exclusive 📜 Lyrics [Intro] Daily Prophet. Special correspondent. Acid-green quill... at the ready. The Boy Who Lived... and the Slytherin princess. Darlings... this is the story of the century. [Verse 1] I've got a quill that writes in emerald green, It knows the truth before the truth's been seen, The Chosen One goes sneaking out at night With a pure-blood daughter of the snakes — what a sight! So I buzzed my little wings across the Hall, I perched upon a goblet, small, so small — Then a ginger boy said "OI! Is that a bug?!" And a Gryffindor swatted me with a pumpkin-juice jug! [Pre-Chorus] Tick-tick-tick goes the deadline clock, Front page waiting, the city's in shock — One little whisper, one little kiss, And I'll never, never, never have a scoop like this! [Chorus] Stop the presses! Hold the ink! I'm one inch closer than you think! A golden boy, a silver snake, The headline every witch would take! But every time I'm nearly there — Someone's standing on the stair! Stop the presses... no, not yet... I haven't got my story... YET! [Verse 2] The library — they're whispering in the stacks, Her pale hand brushing his, I'm taking facts! I crawl along a shelf of Ancient Runes — Then a bushy-haired know-it-all starts to hum a tune... The cleverest witch, with a jar behind her back, Says "Hello again, beetle" — and the lid goes CLACK! Three days I spent in a jar of glass, Writing my memoirs on the window, pass by pass! [Pre-Chorus] Tick-tick-tick goes the deadline clock, My editor's howling, my quill's in shock — One little whisper, one little kiss, Oh, I'll never, never, never have a scoop like this! [Chorus] Stop the presses! Hold the ink! I'm one inch closer than you think! A golden boy, a silver snake, The headline every witch would take! But every time I'm nearly there — Someone's standing on the stair! Stop the presses... no, not yet... I haven't got my story... YET! [Verse 3] Then two redheads, identical grins, "Exclusive, madam! Where shall we begin?" They swore on their mother, they swore on their broom, They'd tell me the secret in a private room — I paid them ten Galleons, I took out my quill, It exploded in glitter and it's sparkling still! The twins just bowed: "Pleasure doing business, ma'am —" And my Quick-Quotes Quill now only writes "SCAM"! [Bridge] So I tried the greenhouse — a clumsy boy's there, With a plant that spat stinksap all in my hair! I tried the Owlery — a dreamy girl's there, "Have you met the Nargles? They're everywhere!" She talked for an hour 'bout Wrackspurts and moons, And they slipped away while she hummed little tunes! I tried the dungeons — a Slytherin's there, "Touch my queen's business and you'll lose that hair!" I tried the Tower — what a surprise — Two Slytherin girls with ice in their eyes! They didn't say a word, they just cracked their knuckles slow, And smiled at me sweetly... so I thought I'd better go! [Breakdown] But I never give up... no, not me... One last night... one last try... The Astronomy Tower... the moon is high... I see them... I SEE them... he's leaning in — ...why is it so cold? ...why is my shadow... bigger than me? And then a voice behind me, cold and slow... "Ten points... from the Daily Prophet." ...Ten points?! You can't take points from a NEWSPAPER! And he just looked at me and said... "Watch me." [Final Chorus] Stop the presses! Burn the ink! Hogwarts is worse than you'd ever think! A redhead, a jar, two twins and a weed, A dreamer, a snake girl, two wardrobes indeed! And behind them all, in robes of black, A greasy-haired bat with my notebook in his pack! Stop the presses... I'm not done yet... I haven't got my story... [Outro] ...Fine. I'll just make it up. "SECRET LOVE IN THE DUNGEONS — Daily Prophet exclusive." Fan-made. Harry Potter belongs to its rights holders; this is a non-commercial fan tribute. #HarryPotter #Drarry #Malfoid #femdraco #Hogwarts