Techniques for healing and recovery from narcissistic abuse.
Curated by: Prof. Sam Vaknin (102 videos)
Happiness comes naturally, from the inside. It is a slow, steady, and safe unfolding, not the ephemeral pyrotechnics of fireworks. It never depends on anything external. It cannot be bought - or sold. It is a state of mind, not a state of affairs. It is self-love and self-acceptance without the narcissism. It flowers in the least expected moments, brings to life the moribund, and refreshes the stale. Happiness is Being AND Nothingness at once. Nothing is more sad and lonely than having casual sex in order to feel less sad and lonely. Nothing is more deceitful than brutal honesty: it pretends to offer empathy and succor, but is mere camouflaged sadism. Nothing is more vainglorious than false modesty and pseudo-humility. Nothing is more hateful than the ineluctable expiry of love. Nothing is more wrong than being right all the time. Nothing is faster than life or slower than dying. Nothing is more attractive than the self-sufficient, nothing more repellent than the clinging and the needy. Nothing is more corrupt than conformity and nothing more noble than being oneself. Nothing is more dignified than honoring others. Nothing is more hopeful than what we already have. Nothing is more blind than merely observing and nothing more deaf than merely hearing. Nothing is more present than the past. Nothing less certain than the future. No gift is greater than a smile and no harm is more deleterious than rejection. No risk is grander and no reward more substantial than to live life to its fullest. Only the craven and the foolish extol death or asceticism as bravery or wisdom. Reality is in our mind alone and what is out there is solely what we make of it. Go forth to this New Year and make it love you. The way out is your only entrance. What did Life teach me? I am 57 years old and have led the combined lives of 10 people. At least. I have learned that Life doesn’t always accommodate our plans and wishes — but it always turns out to be far better than our fears. If you just let life happen, it takes care of you. We have only limited information — life has a lot more. Events that look like disasters are usually agents of positive change. Trust life, do not fight it. Plan flexibly, execute wisely, retreat smartly, advance promptly, and invariably celebrate all these steps on the path that is your being. Assume the worst, hope for the best, settle for the real. Even when you are stuck, you are carried forward at blinding speed. Love the innumerable gifts that you had been given. Cliches are golden truths forged by experience: setbacks are opportunities, raw gold never glitters, the grass is green, and every cloud has silver. Tunnels always end in light. Be positive but not gullible, assured but not grandiose, happy yet never euphoric. Some emotions are bad advisors, other indispensable counsellors: know which is which. And, yes, change what you can but only what you can. Do not aim for the stars, let them aim for you, who are of stardust. Remember: this dream ends one day. The only things we take with us are sepia memories and they are the only thing we leave behind. Work on having a life worth remembering by both yourself and others. Abuse Victim's New Year Resolutions New Year resolutions are notoriously fragile and ephemeral. But victims of abuse cannot afford this cavalier attitude: their mental - and too often physical - health depends on strictly observing the following promises to themselves: 1. I will treat myself with dignity and demand respect from others. I will not allow anyone to disrespect me. 2. I will set clear boundaries and make known to others what I regard as permissible and acceptable behavior and what is out of bounds. 3. I will not tolerate abuse and aggression in any form or guise. I will seek to terminate such misconduct instantly and unequivocally. 4. I will be assertive and unambiguous about my needs, wishes, and expectations from others. I will not be arrogant - but I will be confident. I will not be selfish and narcissistic - but I will love and care for myself. 5. I will get to know myself better. 6. I will treat others as I want them to treat me. I will try to lead by way of self-example. 7. If I am habitually disrespected, abused, or if my boundaries are ignored and breached I will terminate the relationship with the abuser forthwith. Zero tolerance and no second chance will be my maxims of self-preservation. NEW CHANNEL Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTg79xJ1-pDFkg-aBe9KXLw Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism Playlist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzBf9QvClo&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3RTSj7sW28ykk51HfHMNXQ Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3