Narcissistic Abuse (NA) Healing and Recovery

Currently Playing: Is Nostalgia Good For You?

How Narcissist Remembers You (Dark, then Rosy Retrospection, Nostalgic Recall) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzt-95gSRIM WATCH Why Narcissist DISCARDS YOUR MEMORY (Having Idealized and Devalued It) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPfo11uMysw Nostalgia binds victims to abusers. Wistful longing, sentimental yearning for the past. A form of attenuated mourning or grief. Nostalgic people are emotionally intense and other directed. Nostalgia – the word was coined in 1680 by a Swiss medical student - was once considered a physical disease (pathological homesickness) and noted as leading cause of death on death certificates during the 18th and 19th centuries, especially among people in extreme duress (the young, soldiers, slaves, domestic servants). Well into the 20th century, it was still considered a mental health condition. Now, nostalgia is 30 times more prevalent among older people and the affluent (though even children may go through it). Some personality traits and maybe genes predispose to nostalgia and even people with dementia experience it (nostalgia therapy: meaningful personal memories and feelings – not reminiscence therapy). Nostalgia is a way to remind you who you are, to cement your core identity, to dial back identity diffusion, maintain a sense of continuity (self). Selective memory regarding the past triggered mainly be sensa but also by internal psychological processes and constructs such as memories. Nostalgia: trait (dispositional variable) vs. state. Perception of irretrievable albeit mostly imaginary losses. So, nostalgia is about dissolved relational fantasies and imaginaries of freedom and emotional wellbeing, not about bygone factual reality. Narcissists, borderlines, and other people with dissociation can actually be more nostalgic than most (although narcissists defend against nostalgia by repressing and numbing it). Borderlines and narcissists also have bouts of anticipatory nostalgia (mourning anticipated but ineluctable loss, future-orientation). Could lead to wallowing, rumination, resentment, and grievances. Nostalgia politics. It is a past orientation rather than mindful presence. Bittersweetness: nostalgia is dissonant and ambivalent, with concomitant positive affects (warmth, fuzziness) and negative emotions (sadness, “tugs at heartstrings”). Nostalgia is, therefore, anxiogenic (“things have been better” “as a child, I have been much freer”), anxiolytic (“there’s hope”), and arousing (stirs to action). It could even contribute to emotional dysregulation in susceptible people. Nostalgia encourages social and romantic bonding and cohesion (mobilizes). It is a social emotion. Nostalgia can be vicarious and historical rather than personal. When shared, it is, therefore, experienced positively, makes us feel better. It could be a form of shared fantasy. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Sam-Vaknin/author/B000APLOFK/allbooks