Uploads from Lucas Zelnick

Currently Playing: When Canoodling With Your Neighbor On Her Period Leads To Pregnancy | Mommy Issues Podcast

For context, this caller has a voice that could get anyone pregnant. On this episode of Mommy Issues, our caller finds himself in a real pickle after getting his neighbor pregnant. While he knows it's her choice, he's worried about her changing her mind about having an abortion and is willing to be as supportive as he can but doesn't want to be a part of this kid's life. He could really use our advice. Also, I debate my mom on who's a bigger f*** up. Tour Dates & City Requests: https://www.lucaszelnick.com/ 00:00 You Can Throw A Baby In The Pool 01:21 Some News To Share 03:23 This One Is Not Necessarily Dark However Is A Real Pickle 06:21 But In The Big City, I Feel Like You Just Get An Abortion 08:51 I Would Just As, "Are You On Birth Control?" 10:46 I Got My Sperm Tested In College 11:53 He Should Just Go Check It Out For A Little 14:29 Babies Can Float 16:53 Ok, What About The Nirvana Baby? 18:44 He Got Me Pregnant My Senior Year Of College, It's NOT Jeffrey Epstein 23:39 I Was Delivered By The Person That Gave You An Abortion? 28:20 Who Is The Bigger F*** Up, Me Or You? 34:40 I Was Photographing A Guy In A Gimp Suit When I Saw Your Dog Fall Off The Roof 37:23 Putting Your Parents On A Pedestal 39:23 But That's The Only Life I Had Before You Is That I Dated Jeffrey Epstein 41:16 Rich People Are Pretty Not Transparent About The Way They Live 46:45 All Rich People Eat Babies? Follow Lucas: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lucaszelnick TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lucaszelnick Lucas Zelnick is a stand-up comedian who has been featured on Comedy Central, Don’t Tell Comedy, and as a member of the 2026 Netflix Shortlist class. Lucas has appeared in feature films Regulars, Fade to Black, Offsite, and Hulu’s Pizza Movie. As a touring comedian, he has sold over 100,000 tickets and accumulated over 2 million followers across social media. For no reason at all, he also holds an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business. #lucaszelnick #podcast #advice #standupcomedy #crowdwork #comedy #standup