PreRec Streams Chronological

Just let Lady T's out. Same hands. Oh, yeah. There we go. Wow, all right. Officially welcome to the stream everybody. Thanks. Hi. Let me turn on the N64 music again. Oh, yeah. Can you guys hear James Bond and us talking? That's the important question. Or is everything messed up in the world? What? What? I can't hear you talking. You can't hear anything? Oh, dear. Right. Don't tell them. You remember there's a lag. No, I know. I know. I know. I don't get what? Remove polygons. Not going to happen. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. This is an N64 game. There's nothing but polygons and blur. It's the ugliest game imaginable. So, yeah. We'll wait We'll wait for everyone to show up and then we're going to play some [ __ ] GoldenEye. I am uh Oh, are you playing now? No. No, this is just a preview. Cuz that I mean it was pretty good. I'm not going to Yeah, it's not going to look that good cuz I haven't played this game in uh many years. This was definitely um the N64 was definitely post-collegiate uh time. DJ had one when when he and I were roommates with the with the uh rotating third roommate, whoever it was at the time. And uh Played a lot of this back then. I didn't drink back then. So, you just played GoldenEye? Yeah. Time wasted. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I played the [ __ ] out of GoldenEye. Yeah. We had an N64 and and yeah, me and three roommates. This is what we did. Mhm. Mhm. I I was too busy playing Quake II. Which which I I I enjoy Sure. more than nearly everyone. Oh, for sure. Sure, that's fine. There were There were those of us who did not have a computer good enough to play Quake II. No, though what this does have though is the the location damage. Oh, yeah. We will We'll red spots. Yeah. Is uh someone wants to know is Josh a gamer? No. No Nobody but me and Jack. We keep telling you guys. No. It's just me and Jack. Yeah. This This is This is what it took to get me in here. And I remember I remember Jack and I talking about this when you were talking about just just before the first pilot and getting it all set up. I'm like, "You know, if you guys bust it down to like Atari games or vintage arcade games, I'm there. Um but this is about as far as I went. I am not a video game person. Hold on. Hold on one second. Dick the birthday boy? No. No. Mustard is terrible. No, it's What? I hate mustard. What? Mustard is awful. Mustard is fantastic. Mustard makes me want to throw up. Oh, come on. He's He's making a joke. You're the PC I know. I know. I don't like the comparison. I'm offended by mustard. You're offended by mustard? Angry about mustard. I Wow. I love I I I I would say There's things There's foods I dislike. Mustard I would say I would actually say I despise. Wow. You guys you hear it here first. Wow. Rich despises Like not even like do you like do you like brats? Like hot mustard on a brat? I don't like it on anything. Like like a like what like a grainy is no. A grainy spicy mustard. Here's Here's the thing. Okay? My my my girlfriend She She insisted that I just never had good mustard, right? Insisted. That could be a thing. Years and years ago she took like it was like a literally a drop of Grey Poupon. Tip of a spoon. Said, "Try this." Uh-huh. I tried it. I gagged for five [ __ ] minutes. Wow. Wow. Are you allergic to mustard? No, I just despise it. It's awful. Okay. Listen, I'm I I despise mustard. I'm very sorry. I I I I don't like pickles. Uh-huh. And I don't think ketchup deserves to be anywhere near cheese. So, that's why I just I order my cheeseburgers plain just because it's easier. Yeah, no. I We've We've talked about that where it it's also allows you to get if you're doing like a fast food burger get you a fresher burger. Yeah, sure. Cuz it's not you know, they can't they can't They don't make it like that. I You know what I prefer on my fast food burgers is mustard and onions only. Like no ketchup. I'm not a big fan of ketchup. And I know guys, this is a really interesting This is seriously controversial. So, make sure to like, subscribe a vote the mustard conversation. Yes, please please chime in with your mustardy opinions. Oh, they are. They are. Rich Evans, he of the shitty opinion. Oh, wow. [ __ ] you. Yeah. I know. I've I got an audience and you don't. So, take your [ __ ] mustard love elsewhere. Wow. I just don't I never understood ketchup. It's sugar paste. No, it's not. It's It's It is It is tomato and vinegar paste. With With some salt. Some sugar and some salt. Yeah. You actually the salt is more important than the sugar because there's a natural sweetness in tomatoes. But Ketchup Ketchup is reserved for unusually bland french fries. Wow, you guys That's the only time I ever use ketchup. Dick the birthday boy has a really good question. Will there be any gaming in this condiments stream? No. No, the only way they got me here was promised that we wouldn't actually play any games and we would just talk about condiments. I I love it. I I actually had a I had a I I was espousing my opinion on A1 sauce on my Twitter uh the the earlier this week. I actually was. What's your opinion on A1 sauce? I love A1 sauce, but I also like a good steak. And and A1 you know, if you put A1 on a good steak, you're wasting it. So, it's just like I don't want to get bad steak and then but I like A1 and it's a conundrum. This was my problem with any sort of steak sauce is why cuz steak sauce is there to cover up a bad steak. And so, just why have a bad steak in the first place? You're listening to condiment talk. NPR. Um but I do I I honestly like the taste of A1 sauce. Uh I don't think it's spoiling anything to say that Jesse puts it on her eggs. She does. And that blew my mind a little [ __ ] bit. What? Yeah. We were We were having uh dinner out. I can't remember it was me and Jesse and Jay, maybe? I can't remember. A1 sauce on your eggs? A1 sauce and hot sauce. You know You know what's unusual? That. Delicious. Sour cream on fries. Sour cream on fries? Yeah. Sour cream but I don't think I'd get any on You put sour cream on on a baked potato. You put sour cream on perogies. You So, guess what? Sour cream and fries that goes together like like like like LIKE PLAYING A GAME. HEY-O. I HAVE I HAVE PLAYED A ARE we doing the single player first or what's the story? Oh, [ __ ] single player. start a let's start a Okay. a four player. No, I'm I am trained on on the mouse and the keyboard. So, I'm going to be flat out awful. Okay. Great. I really like that. Okay. So, three players. Scenario Normal. Which I can't remember what the scenario differences are. I only played twice. Uh Normal. Just We're all trying to kill each other. That's fine. What do you level Uh You'll You'll You'll figure it out. You'll get it. Uh random. Just random it Random? Random it up. I'm assuming I'm going to strafe. Yeah, I love mayo. You're You're up and down. Geeks Oh, that's what you Oh, that's weird. Um Geeks only. Mayo. is This is motion. This is moving and this is view. I don't remember how to play this game. You'll get You'll get You'll get it. Uh 10 minutes is probably fine. Weapons uh Let's keep it simple. Let's just go with pistols cuz rockets can kind of [ __ ] off a little bit until we until we just are Yeah. are tired of everything. Uh We will pick our characters. Oh, man. Who are you going to be? Who are you going to be? Boris. I want to be Alec Trevelyan cuz who doesn't? Oh, you're Oh, you're Okay. I haven't picked yet. Yeah, I don't I don't know who he was. What is the start There we go. I'm going to be Valentine. Oh, I'm going to be a little Robbie Coltrane. Why not? Okay. Health normal. Everybody's got to press A and and Oh, I'm pressing wrong button. press A. Go to zero. Okay. Control style uh We haven't unlocked Oddjob. What do these things mean? Uh just press A. Go to honey and press A. I don't know what that is. Sight on auto aim on, yes. Sure. We're all in it. Start this. Start this BS. Okay, here we go. How about Okay. All right. What is that? What shoots? Oh, this is horrible. You're Oh. Relax. Relax. What Wait, what? How do I get Why is it so How do I get your gun? Why is this so slow? Cuz that's the game. Oh, there we go. Oh, I have my slapper. Does that help? Uh you can slap people with it. Where's my gun? I think you press You press A to get your gun. Did you pick up your gun? You have to pick up a gun? Yeah. Where? It's in the room. It's on the floor. Yeah. Wow, this is coming back to me pretty quickly. How do you shoot your gun? Oh, you press the shoot button. The trigger. Right. This is awful. I It's It's weird playing it on a TV like this. That is That is odd. Ooh, body armor. It looks because we're playing it on HDTV, it looks significantly worse. It is terrible. Oh, hey. Come here. No. You. I died. Oh, I died. Who Who wants to know Oh, you died. Jack just died. Jack is in the top right corner. Josh is in the top left corner. Rich is in the bottom left corner. And man, I'm still pretty good at this. All right. Good to know. Um Ooh, is Spelunky co-op? Maybe. Oh, press start. Okay, here. I'm going to slap the [ __ ] out of you. I feel like I'm stuck in molasses. Listen. This is This is it. This is the answer key. People love this game? No. Well, we love it because it was what we had. I love I certainly loved it at the time. Yeah, if if we if you didn't have a computer, oh my god, where am I? I'm in I'm in a basement. Uh if you didn't have a computer Hey. This is This is the only way you could do a multiplayer first-person shooter. I'm sure somebody's going to correct me. And of course five Ooh, body armor. Body armor. Where am I? And where are you? That's I'm a little confused by that. Oh, there's a little map. You guys There's a little map in the top right corner. Oh, and B does stuff. I opened a door, y'all. Yes. Guess what? That's making more sense to me now. There are hidden doors. Oh, god, there are hidden doors. [ __ ] Well, I mean, not exactly hidden. Well, enough. Okay, come here. I'm going to There's more body armor. I'm going to shoot a [ __ ] Where is he? I'm in the basement. I'm just hanging out. Oh, you're in the I was just in the basement, yo. I'm looking for [ __ ] I thought there was more body armor down here somewhere. Ooh, here's No, what is this? Magnum bullets. Magnum bullets. Give it up for magnum bullets. No No, thank you. Picking up like [ __ ] tons of ammo. Oh, there we go. Here's some [ __ ] body armor. Okay. I don't have a gun. Oh, I would recommend getting a gun. Where is gun? It's there on the floor. you start with a [ __ ] pistol? Cuz you have to find a gun. That is [ __ ] It's on the floor there. It's not in the room where I spawned. Uh There should be a gun close to you. Oh, okay, here we go. I'm coming for you, Jack. Can I get you? Can I get you? Um check. Is this strafing? Oh, there is strafing. The most awkward strafing ever. Oh, I shot you like eight times. I have body armor. Ah, trash body armor. Jack loses. I am I'm pretty damaged. That's bad. That's right. The You could set it to um a different You could You could die a certain amount of times in B done. Oh, yeah. Or is this just a free-for-all? It's It's 10 minutes. Oh, okay. It's nonstop 10 minutes. Nonstop 10 minutes. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Oh, see There you go. I'm down. And then it's Yeah, I think it's a total of how many times you die. Get out of here. I'm shooting people. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Okay, Jack, it's making it really tough to like Going to get you. see the stuff that's on the floor. Going to get you. Going to get you. Going to get you. Okay, you know what? Slappers. COME HERE. COME YEAH, THAT WAS JUST SLAPPERS. OH, slapped you straight to death, son. Slapped you. You ain't got nothing on these slappers, yo. All right. All right, now we're going after Jack. All come. Come for me. Okay, I got to go through the secret door, which is not at all a secret. Where are you? Where am I? That's what I'm asking. I'm asking it, too. This is awful. This I'm I guess what I mean is this is my new favorite game. I'm done. Yeah. Oh, all right, Rich. I'm I'm done for the night. Oh. Oh my god. We can do some uh single-player campaigns. I'm going to go play Quake. Bring it. We can play Quake one day. You can shoot some glass. Where are you guys? This is the ugliest game This is Yeah. in the world. Look at these walls. Where is everybody? Is there one good-looking game on the Nintendo 64? Um No idea. Uh no. Played like two games on this ever, and we have them both tonight. Uh That. Yep, got you. Hey. Hey. Hey. Nope. Strafe. Strafe. And coming back. And strafe. Hey. Yeah, I'm going to That's all I'm doing is strafing. No, [ __ ] my plan. My plan My strafe plan didn't work, guys. is for [ __ ] Jack. It's for [ __ ] Oh, yeah. Uh we're We'll definitely do a rocket launcher turn. Oh, sure. This is just Oh, I Is there a button to run? Uh Uh you just push You push up uh quickly. Or and you you It doesn't really You push forward more. Yeah, but if you push it all the way up, it'll it'll move a little faster. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope, that's not me. Come here. I'm going to karate chop a [ __ ] You can't You can't Going to happen. Going to get you. Get out of here. Going to get you. KARATE CHOP A [ __ ] THE ONE THING THAT I'M REALLY not gaining back that I used to have is a sense of where I am. And I used to know these Oh, yeah. I used to know this stuff well enough to have an idea just like, "Okay, so I go here, and then I go to this thing, and that No. Oh, yeah. I I mean, I remember memorizing all of the little the list like all the weapon drops, getting up to the other levels. One level, can't you like go through grates? Uh yeah, I think. No, don't go in a hallway. It's easier for me to karate chop you. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. I'm going to karate chop you. Why aren't you dead? I karate chopped you like eight times. Uh Ooh, Hypothetic one says the N64 has one of the weakest library of any console. Maybe. Yeah. Ooh, just barely. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. It depends on what you consider to be a good game like I know it's getting [ __ ] on Something Something that controls well, I think, would be my definition of a good game. Well, Like it's getting some [ __ ] lately, but I still like Ocarina, and I still like uh Mario 64 was a good game. I mean, it's ugly as sin, but it's a good game. Uh Smash Brothers, Starfox, [ __ ] Starfox. Starfox? I remember Starfox looking good. Starfox 64 is a brilliant game. I feel like I'm steering a bulldozer on an ice rink. Oh, wait. I remember something. I can aim. Who aims better? It's going to be you. You hit me. Running away. Really? I can't jump down from that. No, that's really stupid. Oh, I was I was going to I was going to karate chop him. You can't do it. Oh, that's dumb. That I really hate that. That's just dumb. What do you even press to karate chop? Uh Oh, you press the A button to get rid of your weapon. Yeah, you have to not have anything in your hands. And then And then you press the A button, and you karate chop. Which is useful knowledge when we do uh slappers only, which we will have to do. Cuz that is [ __ ] fun. Wait, oh. Okay. Do I have body armor? Is this just an ammo room that's in here? Yes, just one. Get Hey. I'm going to karate chop a [ __ ] Hey. HEY. YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING. YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING. I GOT I GOT TO SHOOT YOU IN THE HEAD, [ __ ] OH, game's over. All right. So, I came in first, Rich came in second, and Jack came in third. That's I mean Good work. Good work. Thank you, everybody. Okay. Let's start the exit. Yeah. Okay. And that's the stream. All right, good night, everybody. Thank you so much for coming out. Okay, so that's a plain old regular regular style. So, now let's start [ __ ] around. Um Yes, John Kilo, we would describe describe these controls as awkward. Oh, quite. seen the awkward supercut? Yes, it's fantastic. Um You only live twice is something you you die twice, and then you're done. Uh The Man with the Golden Gun is the one that uh if you get the golden gun, you can kill anybody instantly. License to kill is any hit is fatal. And so, the fun thing there is to do license to kill with slappers. Um Let's definitely do that. You want to try that? Yeah, let's do that. Let's do license to kill with slappers only, and then we'll do uh we'll do rocket launchers next. Okay. I'll pick a different level. Sure. Oh, and there are proximity mines and all sorts of things we haven't [ __ ] around with yet. Hey, don't be [ __ ] on the GameCube. GameCube had some awesome games. Are we all still uh comfortable with our characters here? Uh Elvis Delvis. Um We have emoticons. You get to use them. Oh. I didn't know that. Look it up. I I I forget how you do it, but you have to type in a thing, and then you type in another thing, and it gives you an emoticon. It's pretty cool. I'm going to be [ __ ] blonde. I'm going to slap some [ __ ] as blonde. Blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Why do people hate the GameCube? I don't know. Oh, this is the same model. Oh, whatever. A lot of people There was a lot of hate for the GameCube. Uh and I thought it had Specifically specifically Mario Sunshine. Oh, everyone hates Mario Sunshine, which is [ __ ] Mario Sunshine was great. Oh, slap. All right. Slap. Slap. Come here. You come here. I'm going to slap you. See, that's That's what the fun is. Like we're SO CLOSE. OH! OH MY GOD, DOUBLE KILL. THAT WAS FANTASTIC. THAT WAS GREAT. THAT WAS. ALL RIGHT. WHERE IS IT? SHUSH, SHUSH. OH, I'll press that. Yeah, you got it. Yeah. I keep forgetting I'm I'm reading the chat, so I I keep forgetting to press it. That's okay. Slap. I'll sleep. I'm getting out of here. Nope. Oh, [ __ ] I tried to run away. Yeah, Wind Waker, Mario Sunshine. Luigi's Mansion is a great game that I think does not get as uh enough love as far as I'm concerned. Again, Smash Bros. Mario Kart Double Dash is a great Mario Kart game. Um There were so many good All right. Come here. No, YOU COME HERE. NO, DOUBLE KILL. YOU'RE GETTING REALLY GOOD AT THAT. YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY WHEN WOMEN spend time together, they synchronize their monthly time? That's not this. Maybe we've synchronized our finger movements. I must be feeling weird. James Bond slapping [ __ ] OH, FINALLY I KILLED I KILLED SOMEONE without dying. It's good work. I'm I'm really proud of this. This is a great this game. Uh you you can hate this game. We're [ __ ] you. This is just a goofy. We're just doing this. Kill you. We're being goofy. Metroid Prime. We don't have to say Metroid Prime. [ __ ] yeah. Metroid Prime is a great game. Thank you. There's a ton of great GameCube We can uh Do you Do you lose points for having died? Uh I'm sure. No, no, no. No, it's just that how many times can you kill the other people the most? [ __ ] I am terrible, apparently. What are you [ __ ] Straight, straight, straight. Straight, straight, straight. I really wish there was a like a the fourth window would show just an overall shot of this because that would be fantastic. Just three people running at each other. I'm chopping. Come here. No, you. You guys, I'm getting sick. I know. Okay, okay. STOP. OOH. WHAT [ __ ] HELL, THOUGH? YOU I don't know. What? I don't know. Josh and I. Did we get each other? Did Rich get one of us? I don't even know. No, this game does not have spikes. No, we just got each other. This game Metroid If anyone feels like [ __ ] on Metroid Prime, you get the [ __ ] out of this stream. Metroid Prime Everybody [ __ ] on Metroid Prime. Great game. I I haven't even I haven't seen anyone. I just see someone saying like Oh, I see it. Oh, I can't jump down. Why can't I jump down? That's I have to see him in a sec. Get out of here. [ __ ] this. I don't know. I keep missing. Why am I missing? Come here. Come here. Idiot. Maybe this door is locked. Damn it. Jay, why don't we just keep killing each other constantly? I just did. Run I'm This is a strategy, okay? Okay. Run from Josh. Okay. Or we can we can just gang up on Josh and not kill each other. What you looking at? How did that not hit you? Nope. YEAH. WE HIGH FIVE WE HIGH FIVE. HIGH FIVE. THAT DID NOT WORK FOR YOU. THAT WAS A FUNNY KILL. You both got [ __ ] slapped. It's true. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Ooh, I'm going to glass I'm going to glass you you guys. I'm going to glass you. All right, get out of that glass. Did you Did you slap the glass? SLAP THE GLASS. NO! OH, JEEZ. SNEAKY. I'M A SPY. I'M A SPY. I'M running away. I'm running away. That was my backstab. That was That was That was a Team Fortress 2 moment. I knew it. You did not spy. Oh, I'm a spy. Oh, you don't see me coming. Oh, you saw Honestly, the double kills I don't remember the double kill being this much fun. We're both getting close range. We're both slapping. Yeah. Yeah, okay. All right. The shaky Jack and Rich laugh. Oh, you. Uh I missed Primal says Josh, before you shaved, whose beard would win in a fight, yours or Jay's? I I They're just beards, guys. They just grow out of our faces. No such thing as just a beard. It's It's tough because Josh I I think I think what it's it's a question of is like um like a trained fighter versus a bear. Yeah, I had I I had primal power. Yeah. Josh has raw animal power, whereas Jay more has like a like a cut and sharpened. Oh, jeez. Oh. Oh, we died on top of each other. Oh, no. Oh, you disappeared. GHOSTS. NO, I'M running away from the ghosts. Oh, they're dark. Slap. But anyway, I would I would not like to suggest that Jay's beard and my beard were anything but friendly. Uh I've heard him talk. I've heard otherwise. I've heard your beards beards suck. I did. Jack. What? You're scaring me. Yeah, it's true. I scare you. [ __ ] hell. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, Jay has the GQ beard. That's true. I'm sure Jay takes time to Oh, man. curate his beard, and Josh is has so much animal power. Just Just in Josh, by the way, that it comes out of his beard. That How come I can't go down? Why can't I go down? You suck. It's cuz I suck. Hi. Ow. Here, well, I'll watch you I'll watch the fight from over here. Well, Oh, yeah. You can watch us disappear again. How is this stream, everybody? Yeah, they're fine. This is fun, right? Yeah, they're fine. This is fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. This is This game This is It's This is one of those wonderful nostalgia trip How do I get down? It's a wonderful nostalgia trip because this is a game that I thought was amazing when it came out. And now it's so obviously not, but I remember I mean, I have so many hours in this game. Oh my god. Yeah, CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. RUN AWAY. I'm running away. Jesus Christ. Or am I? Sneak attack. Sneak attack. Run away. Oh dear lord. GOT TO [ __ ] SLAP. AH, YOU CAN'T BEAT MY TACTICS. I'm running away. Mad tactics, yo. Mad mad James Bond tactics. You can yeah. Oh. Come here. Are you in the hallway still? Oh, there Ah, SON OF A [ __ ] SLAP A HORSE. COME HERE. NO, NO, NO. You come here. I wanted TO GIVE YOU THE SLAP SLAP. OH. [ __ ] OH, MY YAK, I'm sorry. My Yak came here for the mustard discussions. Oh, listen. Listen, can we still talk about A1 sauce? I You know, A1 sauce, barbecue sauce in general, Really? I have never much cared for. You're not like you wings, ribs, Wings, ribs, nothing. If If there's Like I enjoy wings and ribs, but not barbecue sauce. Wow. Barbecue sauce is vile. I don't even have words anymore for that. It's just vinegar. It's like Well, first off, that's not a problem for me because I [ __ ] love vinegar. Uh well, there you go. Like vinegar chips so in the mouth, the water is No. All right. Yeah, can't can't take my tactics a mad spy tactics. Killing spree dominating. That's a quick rate. Look at that I came in last place on that one. Okay, different level. Yeah. Not instant kill and rocket launchers. Complex. Regular. Yeah. Now the other thing is we can change it to 5 points 10 points 20 points. Oh sure, let's do let's do 5 points. Okay, so that that's quick. Yeah. Quick one rockets. Rockets. Rockets. Rockets. I also would enjoy doing a quick one with a proximity mines because those are fun. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oops. What kind of maniac doesn't like barbecue sauce? This kind right here ho show ho show. I'm with you ho you. Oh yeah. Homer junior. Ho show. Rocket launcher. That's funny. Rocket launcher. Rocket launcher. That's fine. That's fine. I'm okay with that joke. Why would I want to go home and play missed? Why would anybody want to go home and play missed? All right. So we don't have the rocket launchers right away. Okay. Yeah, you got to get a rocket launcher and ammo. Just keeping in mind it's been a it's been a while. This little rifle. Oh yeah, guys it's getting it's getting serious. Oh, did I miss you? What happened? I don't know. I don't have a weapon. What happened? You just killed an unarmed woman. Yeah, well I tried. No, I did. Oh, oh. You ran up the thing and I shot you in the face with a grenade launcher. You killed yourself Jack. Did I? Yeah. How is that possible? A rocket came back and got you. Son of a [ __ ] All right. So they don't spawn by where you are in this one. I guess not. And you got an assault rifle. It's just on the ground. Yeah, you just got to run around till you find something. Walk around till you find something. Where did you get killed? I'm sorry. I don't know where you are. How do I get one? Come back here. I'll kill you. That would be stupid. Why would I do stupid? Oh, that's actually a good question. Damn rich. Damn rich. Oh yeah, I remember this is a secret, right? Yeah. Oh, I'm die hard up in this. Body armor. Ammo dude. Oh. Killing. I got dump the clip. Dump the clip. Dump the clip. Dump the clip. Holy cow. Yeah. I don't Are you still there? So lost. Did you die? I don't know where I am. Did I kill you? Where are you? You know what? Only only reliable way to kill someone snipers. How come you don't die? I HAVE BODY ARMOR. HURT SO MUCH. You said you said. I don't think it was that bad. It's pretty bad. No. It's I mean but it's like like we were saying at the time. At the time I was playing better games on the PC. Right. I I was right behind you. Oh. No. Ow. [ __ ] You got to get away cuz then you died. Oh, well you know sometimes that's what you got to do. Ow. Let's see here. Vinegar I do like salt vinegar chips actually. I like salt vinegar. I like vinegar a lot. I just that's it's I use it in I use it about as much as I use garlic which is to say That's fair. Hey, what's down there? Guess I don't get to know. Okay. Can't deal with these slappers. I want to go away from this. Can't deal with these slappers. I didn't have a gun. I could I could only defend myself with jujitsu. Oh, I HAVE A GUN. OH DIP. OH RICH, QUIT being a hack fraud and say something. I'm it takes all my concentration to use THESE POOR CONTROLS. I'M DUMB. IS THIS A SECRET IN HERE, isn't it? You can go in the wall over here. Oh, what the [ __ ] I'm blowing up for the [ __ ] of it. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Hey, you guys like that Sonic and Knuckles game? Knuckles. You know, I've never played that particular one. Sonic and Knuckles. You talking about Macklemore? Macklemore. Is that Is that what you're talking about? Um Elvis Elvis gave me some great advice. I need to remove skeleton. You're absolutely right Elvis Elvis. Remove. Remove skeleton. What does that mean? Um it's a way to get better at games. If you remove skeleton you can move faster generally. It's also a thing people start saying in the streams for some reason. Oh. I emptied the clip on you and you're still alive. Empty clip number two on you and you're still alive. Body armor is [ __ ] magic. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] What? Is that what What are you guys saying? Oh. Huh? My app has some great advice for you Rich. Yeah. You need to hunker down. I wish I could. I miss hunkering down. I I like I like tactics and not ice skating. Whoa, this game is like ice skating. I blew you up good. See that's how you do a rocket launcher. Yeah. Yeah, we need to rocket more people. Yeah, I'm trying. Listen pruny toes, I will try to stop sucking but it's probably just not going to happen. Oh [ __ ] is right. Where is that coming from? These are the good questions Rich. These are the good questions. Who what's that? Rockets. Oh, that must mean there's a rocket launcher around here somewhere, right? Yes. Oh, someone's going to die. It's probably going to be me. Oh. Who did you No, it's Rich. You got to get out of here till I get my rockets. You can't get the rockets. I got the rockets. You can't get all the rockets son. Oh, I got I have at least two rockets. No, you don't. That's what that is? I'm trying to I'm trying to talk big so you don't see my bluff. Your bluff. You guys don't see my bluff. Your bluff. You don't see my bluff. You there? Are you there? Are you there come? You coming? Coming over here dad? Did I miss you? Dump the clip. Oh, you got nothing. You you tagged me with the with the rocket but I got out of the way pretty quickly. Yeah, that's [ __ ] right I did. Tagged you good. Ooh more rockets. Ooh more rockets. Ooh more rockets. Don't know if that song went Ooh more rockets. Your rockets. Ow, my rockets. And the rockets. What are Where the [ __ ] is everybody? Oh, right here. Hi. No. Nice. What are rockets? I I FORGET. YEAH, ROCKET LAUNCHER FOR THE WIN. This is where we're having fun with this. Doing all right? this is good fun. Are they saying stuff in the stream? I don't know. They use pine resin. Yeah, okay. When we played a game called Dark Souls there's apparently many memes from the Dark Souls game god and people now tell us Dark Souls things. Right. It helps. All right. I'm camping. I'm camping. I You know And you can't camp in this game. You know you got to do? You know what you got to do? You got to get in there. Got to get right in there. I'm getting in there. Ooh, body armor. I don't want to serve you for so long. You know? Uh Well, you should learn. How about getting in there? Yeah. No, no, no. About the camping. Not camping. Wait, I I I'm lost. Who is this? WHAT I WHAT I PEOPLE DOING HERE? WHERE AM I? WHAT What exploded? I I I've launched three rockets at you unsuccessfully. At me? Yes. Where are you? Okay. Yay, I finally got you. Oh, no, I got Rich. I got Rich. You How did I get Rich? That wasn't me. That's That's Oh. I was firing at Rich. Yes, you were. Oh. Oh, that was a question. Sorry, I asked a question. I was firing at Rich. Yeah Yeah, yes. That's how that was supposed to work. All right. Okay. Getting out of here. Cuz you know why? I'm getting in there. That's why. Getting in there. Getting in there. Get Get on in. Getting Getting on with the getting on. That's what I always say. I say you got to get on with the getting Never heard you say that. Uh I say it literally all the time. Oh, I just remembered something I had to do. Okay, in life? Yeah, in life. Okay. Hold on. Okay. Well, you guys can keep playing. Yeah, okay. Okay, I'm going to do I'm killing you. Killing you guy. Oh, slap me to death. Do it. Do it. Do it. DO IT. I'M DOING A THING. YOU WHAT? All you had to do was say, "Hey, could you pause it?" No. Would have done it. Would have done it. [ __ ] Pausing. See, it's worth it cuz now Rich is having a good time. You guys This wasn't the noises James James Bond was making. Uh This takes forever. I know. He's probably got body armor on. Yay. And it's done. Did you finally kill me? Yeah. Oh, man. That That took like 10 minutes constant slapping. Okay, business business done. Business done. I'm close. Where are you? Wait. Who me? No, Rich. I have some very important business to do. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Got to run. Oh oh oh. Got to run. Got to run. Need a rocket. Need a rocket. Need a rocket. Need a rocket. Need a rocket. Need a rocket. Need a rocket. Need a rocket. There's a thing. Need a rocket. Need a rocket. Need a rocket. Get a rocket. Get a rocket. Get a rocket. Need a rocket. Rocket. Okay. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Running running strafing. Serpentine. Serpentine. Serpentine. I'm going to get you, Jack. I'm going to get you. Oh. Don't give me Don't give me Where Oh, no. Just go away. Running away. Serpentining. Running away. Running away. Yeah, see? You don't even know where I am, do you? I could be right behind you. Hey, WHY WON'T YOU DIE? CUZ YOU HAVE TO DIE. NO. TIME TO DIE. OKAY. There we go. First Rich wins. Hey. That's what happens when you spend all that time slapping James Bond. I would have won anyway. It's five to three. Yeah. I'm just saying it's good for you. All right. Uh What's happening? Uh I don't know. I'm reading what they got. Um What? Oh, are you talking about Yeah, you get the If you subscribe, you get a pizza roll. Oh. You get a pizza roll next to your name and then you can use the showbiz pizza bear and the other mode account. Oh my god. And and when or if we play XCOM against you, you get a character named after yourself in the game. Which Jack will probably kill. Yeah. So, you know. There you go. Let's see here. What do you guys say? Hunker. Play a real game now. Hunker resin. We don't have real games. We're playing the N64 today. Uh ooh, Jack, in your opinion, is this game uglier than Doom? Yes. And I thought Doom was ugly. I love the sprites in Doom. I know you hate Doom. No, you know what? I love the sprites, but it's an ugly game. Like the all the walls are brown and the floors orange. Uh Animus Primal, I will sign your poster, but did you order it already? Um How many months will it take? Uh not many. I think there's I'm I'm here. There's something in there that needs to be signed. Oh, sorry. Oh, there might be a Oh, there is a poster there. That's Okay. Well, this is the first time Josh has been around in a while, so Yeah. It's been a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. I'll I'll sign it. Don't care. sign anything. I'll sign anything. Yes, we're going to sign. Can you hit Can you hit start, Jack? Can you do that? Oh, sorry. What? Is that possible? I was reading the the the jam. Jesus Christ. Uh okay. Uh so, what we're going to do proximity mines. Why don't Oh, but yeah, we'll do proximity mines. And then we can move on. And then how long are we here? Yeah, 40 minutes. Jack, have you played any of the source ports of Doom? No. People People update that game. Like fans, yeah. Oh, okay. I like I like the source engine in it. I'm familiar with the source engine, so Uh You know, there's one called Doomsday that prettied it up a bit. Ooh, okay. I'm going to switch characters. I won that last one, so I'm I'm going to be James Bond now. Okay, yeah. I'm I'm going to be Mishkin. I don't even remember who Mishkin was. I was going to say he was the Russian one, wasn't he? I don't [ __ ] know. With a name like that, he probably was. Sure. I guess. Okay, so you got to go. Yeah. What What are we playing now? Uh proximity mines. Uh ooh, I did I did look into adding smirking Jesus as a as a mode of fun. But uh it's too it's too complicated. You guys wouldn't get it. I'm going to add a a me face and a [ __ ] bomb. As an emoticon. We're still playing the best of five here. Yeah, and Jack is in the top right corner. Uh Josh is in the top left corner. Rich is in the bottom left corner. Okay. Uh [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Find tar. No, Oddjob I think that's what we'll do next is we'll just play a little bit of the single player mission to unlock Oddjob. Oh, sure. Do we need to win the whole game to unlock Oddjob? I don't remember. I don't remember either. Is it just a skin or is Oddjob doing it? He's He's I mean, short. And that that can be that can definitely be an advantage. Uh and especially for slappers only. I also think we we should check we might be if if there might be cuz this game had been played before. Uh We might have a different level where Oddjob has been unlocked. Ooh, yeah. Let's check that. Kill streak. Two. You have a kill streak of two. Yeah, two. Two. Two purs. The two pur. I The two pur. Two purs. Both of you. The two pur. No, but see he wasn't the two pur, but the two pur's real. I don't know the two pur, but don't forget that the two pur is actually the two pur. Can we do that for an episode? Not yet. Oh, oh, not yet. Oh, I want I want to I I want to do a rate on the Steckler whole episode. Bad. him so much. Bad. I I like doing movies that we haven't We haven't seen. I like that, but That one. That one's too good, Rich. And I know. I know. And the thing is we also have a lot of Steckler movies that we haven't seen. Cuz he was very prolific. Are there any kind of health packs in this game? Does it really Just body Just body armor. Body armor kind of acts like health pack. When you get hit, there's the blue bar and the uh and the red bar. The blue bar is your armor and the red bar is your health. The red bar only goes down if the blue bar goes down. So, theoretically you could uh just keep getting body armor and it acts as health. Ah. Yay. I finally killed someone. Almost. I did it. I did it. This is Oh, this is so ugly. Casual Rich wants a health pack. What's wrong with wanting a health pack? Health packs are Fine. Health pack. THAT'S MINE. I HAVE yet to get any land mines. I have a ton of them. Shooting people is much more fun. I have plenty of guns. I would like Listen Listen to the mad bomber here. The the The mad bomber what bombs at midnight? The midnight bomber what bombs at midnight? That's what it is. It is. And I say I say, "Yeah, baby. You're You're the right kind of crazy for me, baby." MAD BOMBER BOMBS AT MIDNIGHT, BABY. OH, YEAH. The midnight bomber what bombs at midnight. Greatest character ever. My people are saying, "What?" What? You tick, yo. You guys don't watch The Tick. We're not. I'm not the I would fix that. Yeah. Uh about my life. Where the bombs be, yo? Where the bombs be? Where do they make horns be? I'm going to get me a new one. What the [ __ ] am I? I'm going to keep failing to find the downstairs. I don't I There's an upstairs? That's where I am, isn't it? I don't know. I have yet to be upstairs. This game still controls like crap. Yeah. Oh my god. It's pretty bad. No. Oh. Oh my god. How do I How do I How do I Oh, oh, hey hey, I'm upstairs. [ __ ] finally. Okay, now it's time to Oh, is that a bomb? Is it a bomb? Oh, that almost killed me. That killed me. And that killed me. Oh, and I won. I like proximity mines. I'm good. Proximity mines are great. It's fun. Um So, yeah, let's Hey, HO [ __ ] JUST SUBSCRIBED. THANKS, Ho [ __ ] That's a great name. Wow. Um Mario Kart Wii is still $40. I can explain that. It's a great game. So, done. Um ba ba ba ba do bi do bi do Just taking some time to ban some users, everybody. Just banning some Hey. Don't you worry about nothing. Let's bang a baby. Oh, we're not going to talk about that yet. Let's see here. I have not played Don't Starve. I hear really good things about Don't Starve. What Guardians of the Galaxy? Yeah, we won't talk about that yet. Nah. Save it. Yeah. All right. Save it. Save it. Save it. I'm sure Mike and Jay will have something to say about it. Well, not not tonight. No. We'll wait. Oh. What? What? Cuz Harry Fed wants to be banned. You should ban him. You want Harry Fed wants to be Yeah. We we can make that happen. If you're not joking. If you're excited about Yeah, I mean I'm I'm I'm fine with that. Yeah. Oh, lots of people asking to get banned. You guys are having a good time. Jack likes to throw the ban hammer down. It's true. Well, you know. And you guys know what to do if you want to get banned. So That easy. Cuz cuz I I have opinions about Guardians of the Galaxy. I do. We do. I don't. have to save them for next week. I'll just real quick. Okay. flawed Uh-huh. but fun. Okay, I want to see character lines. All right. These are not All right. unlocked. Okay. Um Oh, should we talk about that? Josh Mhm. Should we talk about Oh. Yeah, I mean I have a I have a nickname. It's Wizard. It It's not that exciting a story. I've just had it for a really long time. People have asked us in the stream before and our answer is always because he's a wizard. Yeah. And so but we I don't I don't know why you're called the wizard. I just call you Josh cuz It's okay. It's just a nickname that I've had for a really long time that just was, you know, something that stuck with me. I don't really give a [ __ ] about explaining where it came from cuz the story's not that great. It's not that exciting. It's not going to be like, "Aha, now I know." It's not You're going to know it and then that's it. Like it's not fun. Um It's fun if you know the people that are involved and I promise you don't. So It's not that exciting. So, just accept that it's a nickname I have. It's not a big deal and don't worry about it. Well, there you go. And it's a nickname I still use because people repeatedly call me it. He got that name at the gay S&M club. Ratch. Um Josh, where did you get that RoboCop shirt? Oh, that we actually Oh, here we go. Oh, here we go. We got some odd jobs and some draws and some some some stuff. Uh we actually we actually uh had that made. Um There we we had the design. Uh Chloe, our friend Chloe, made that design and uh I thought it was really good and I Uh No, I'm not a virgin, you idiots. Um I had I I had her send that to me and then I had a friend of mine in Detroit uh who's a really good guy who's uh Oh god, I'm going to have to think of his company. I feel bad now. He's a wizard because he made magically made his virginity disappear into a vagina. I made my virginity disappear into a vagina. He waved his magic wand over AND OVER AGAIN. AND THEN AND THEN SOMETHING APPEARED. I'm sorry. That's way better than my when than the actual story. So, I'm I'm rolling with it. It's good. Uh anyway, we only made 10 of them. Um so, it's not anything that you can purchase anywhere. It's a special fun thing that we have and we get to lord over you, I guess. Very few people have the special fun t-shirt. Because we're part of a cool club and it's the club is called the cool the cool people club. I've I've I've had two. Cuz I got I got the shirt, right? And I I foolishly wore it to the studio. Yeah. And I was painting something in back and I just just real quick I didn't realize that I had the can pointed the wrong way. I just picked it up. Just I was just going to give something a quick spurt. And you And I sprayed it right on the shirt. And you comedically farsically sprayed yourself with a backwards spray can. Yes. That's beautiful. Thinking about the the the the physical comedy of that of that bit. If it was a bit that was filmed, I would have been very very happy. Very funny. But as it turned out, I had another shirt in Rich's size. So, now Rich has it and everything's hunky-dory again. Um Uh yes, it's It's that same Chloe. Chloe uh is on the message board. She draws a lot of funny pictures and she's very talented artist. Uh what? I don't know I don't know. They're making vagina jokes. All right, let's Okay. Uh Rich, pick a character. Vagina jokes. No, you didn't. I thought I did. Um I hate proximity mines. Okay. Rich, do you want to do lasers? We can do whatever. do lasers. You know, we've talked about books before. I don't know if I've mentioned it on a stream yet. I just read Wool. Have you read Wool? I have not read Wool. Wool is a is a collection of self-published It's like a collection of six short books that was self-published online only. And it became such a big online phenomena that they actually published physical books and I believe there's a movie option. It is an amazing book. Real quickly, we're waiting for somebody to get some Uh we're just talking. I didn't want to Yeah, we should talk while we play. We can talk while we play. So, I didn't I I wanted everybody to be paying attention to the game. Uh Wool uh post-apocalyptic world that takes place in a giant silo. So, the humans of the future live in a giant silo and the majority of their time is just spent walking up and down the steps of the hundreds and hundreds of floors. It's brilliant. So, people just walking around makes for a compelling book? Yeah, it's true. I'll trust you though. It does. Well, I mean, Lord of the Rings, Y'ALL. OH. OH. IF YOU FIND THAT COMPELLING. WELL. WELL, YEAH, AND it's you know, it's it's a a little bit about It's like it's got a little a little bit of a mystery elements to it. A ton of great sci-fi stuff. Really really neat. But you got the laser. It It was It was one of those books that I started reading and then decided to take an entire day off of work just to finish reading it. Lucky you. Well, I mean, not lucky me just cuz I had to work extra hard the second day. Well. Well, you're still lucky if you can take off a day when you want to. That That is nice. You know, when the the You're going to kill me by slapping, aren't you? I'm going to try. I'm the the great and terrible thing about working for yourself is you can choose what days off you have. The terrible thing is you never choose a day off because you always have to work. I get you. I get you. Ever read the um What was it? Greg Sestero book about Tommy Wiseau? Oh, The Disaster Artist. The Disaster Artist? Fantastic. I really enjoyed that book. I mean, the thing is that Oh, Jesus Christ, [ __ ] lasers. The thing is [ __ ] lasers. That's it. Uh that the story of Tommy is so much more interesting than the movie, The Room. Mhm. The The Room is is interesting. They're definitely interesting, but the thing is The Room is is sort of a fixed object. You see it once and you kind of get it. When you read the story of Tommy Wiseau, there is so much more that you don't know that you just But I think that was all that was part of The Room's charm though was Tommy like having, you know, knowing that he was the writer, director, star. Yeah. I'm I'm just killing it here. Well, you have the laser. The laser's fantastic, dude. And so uh you know, much like our love for Len, once we started watching Len movies like him being the visionary was part of our love, you know. Sure. Um a club Ooh, I got a club. Club? I got a club. Club? So, The Disaster Artist, you recommend? Yes. Oh, [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] OH. I JUST GOT A LASER. NO DEATHS. Five kills. I DIDN'T DIE. SWEET. UNDER [ __ ] DOMINATION. CHRIST. Down to one health AT ONE POINT. LOOK AT THE HEALTH. I MEAN, YEAH, you got it. All right, there you go. Um, the controls still suck, by the way. I'm not enjoying this. I am enjoying this, but I don't like this. I don't like this game though. It's because I'm winning. That's fine. Um, but yeah, just Tommy was such an interesting person and there's a lot you know, it that book, very interestingly, doesn't um, the more you learn about Tommy, the more questions you have. It's really just Wait, if that's true, then Uh-huh. And yeah, it's it's a very good read. Okay. That's good. It's always nice. Yeah. Um, so we did that. Is there anything else you want to [ __ ] around with? Um, you know, we're we've been at it for an hour. Let's take a break. Okay, cool. Hey guys, we're going to take a little water break. I'm going to run a commercial. It's going to be super fun. That's pro- I mean, it's not going to be fun, but I'm going to do these things and then we're we'll talk more about condiments and books while we play video games. Sure. Uh, we'll be back.