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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the official announcement for the NFL first team all chop list. My name is F. I am the host and I am excited to bring you guys this extremely privileged list of individuals that are absolutely chopped. These are active players only. Without further ado, let's get started with special teams. At kicker, we have Harrison Medis, aka the thicker kicker. And you can see why. This is an absolute work of art right here. All right, look at this physique. It's been a while since we've seen an NFL player shaped like this guy right here. Look at this tank. And Jake Moody was close. All right, he's second team all chopped. Look at him right here. Has an absolutely disgusting stash. All right, but Harrison Memphis. Congratulations. At punter, we have Tommy Townsen. I'm not sure this is a guy. I I think this guy's a woman. He looks like a soccer mom. You know what I mean? Like he probably has a Lululemon sports bra under his pads. At long snapper, we have Andrew Depala. Now, this guy's got some chompers. He resembles this giant fossil rodent. No hair, but the chompers is crazy. At punter, we have Tyreek Hill. Unfortunately, I couldn't put him with the receivers cuz the receivers are just that chopped. But Tyreek Hill, this guy's got the fattest neck in the nation. I couldn't slot him in at receiver, but I just think the fact that his neck is wider than his head is absolutely wild. At kick turner, we have Ty Felton. This guy, this guy is just ugly. I think he resembles annoying TV Mario. >> Hold on. Do y'all see? Am I being racist? Uh, there's no racism intent in this video, by the way. I'm sure Ty Felton's a great player. He just reminds me of Mario. Starting with our DBs, we have AJ Terrell. All respect to AJ Terrell. He's a great DB, but this dude's absolutely ch. He made this list on this day. All right. Ever since he got burned up by Jamar and Collins where he went for 221 yards, nine receptions, and two touchdowns. Ever since that day, I felt like he made this list. Don't get me wrong, he's a great corner. Absolutely deserves to be on this list. Next up at DB, we have Carlton Davis. Now, this face pisses me off. He's feeling himself a little too much here. I feel like he thinks he's an R&B singer, like he's Chris Brown or Usher or something. Like, this dude just never smiles, man. Like, look, look at him. Look at him. See, when he smiles, it's a lot better, you know? But he is losing a little hair, though. After I saw this photo, I knew immediately he was going to be an award recipient. Next up, we have Sauce Gardner. Now, I don't know what this is. Uh, to my knowledge, this was a photo taken after the draft. I have not seen this till now. I don't know who made him do this. Who made him make this face? He deserves to be on this list for this cover. Rounding out the DB room, we have Jaylen Ramsey. I'll let the Miami the LA version of Jaylen Ramsey fool you. This dude's ugly. >> Getting in his head, you think? >> What you think? >> I You tell me. >> Tell me. >> You tell me. >> Anytime I lined up on him, [laughter] watch >> that interview automatically puts him up on this list. Start off our linebacking court. We got Tmaine Edmonds. On top of being first team O Chop, we're also going to award Tmaine Edmonds with the biggest nose in the NFL award. This guy's got the biggest nose in the video. All right, I'm convinced this guy could smell me. And there's a family of them. All right, on top of Tmaine, there's Terrell and Trey. Same nose. Probably could have handed out first team O Chop to all three of these brothers right here, but we're going to start it off with Tmaine. Next up, we have Quay Water. Excellent player, but this dude kind of reminds me of Squidward's house. All right. When I saw him crying in the tunnel looking like this, he was making first team shot. Next up at linebacker, we have Cervokia Dennis. All right, this dude look like he about to solve a mystery. I don't know why, but he kind of looks like a fan attending a game. Like, he just does not look like an NFL player. Looks like he broke the Rubik's Cube record. But around the linebackers, we got Andrew Van Gink. He's a great player as well. And honestly, his face isn't even that bad. It's It's just a hair. If he wasn't white, he'd be Tai. All right, if you know, you know. Moving on to the Dline. We're starting off with Tyler Davis. Honestly, he looked like a happy kid. Is he drooling here? Hold on, bro. The hell is going on, man? I don't know. He just looked like he about to steal some cookies. I don't know why he just [laughter] next to Tyler Davis, we got Quinnon Williams. >> Dedication of different uh character things. Listen, dang it that I got this. [laughter] >> I don't know. Maybe it's his mannerisms, but this is just one ugly dude. He got a fresh hairline though. All respect to Quinnon Williams. He's one of the best Dlinemen in the NFL. He ugly though. To round out the defensive line, we got Chris Jones. This dude's been ugly ever since his 40 yard dash. All right. Ever since his meat spilled out. This is just something somebody ugly would do. You know what I'm saying? Chris Jones, probably the best interior defensive lineman in this era outside of Aaron Donald, but he is ugly, man. Oh my goodness. He definitely makes this list. We're playing a 34, so he rounds out the defense. Our defensive coordinator is going to be Shane Bowen. I don't like the way he's looking at I don't know why this guy reminds me of Gail Beder from Breaking Bad. This guy looks like a chemist. Had to have a stylist come change my suit. But let's move on to the offense. And we're starting it off with the O line. All right, Dylan McMahon. This is a girl. This is not a man, not a boy, not a woman. This is a girl. Maybe that was just a poor photo of him. But this is first team all chop material. AT GUARD, WE HAVE DJ FLUKER. I just don't think he knows what he's doing with his hair. I think it's really that simple. When he had short hair, he wasn't that bad. He was okay. He wouldn't have made this list, but what the hell, man? Got an automatic bid for first team chop once he got dreads. All right, DJ Fluker at Guard. At center, we have Creed Humphrey. This dude is This dude is just ugly. He kind of looks like a bear. I've never seen this hairstyle in my life. Also kind of looks like James Cordon. All right, the guy who does carpool karaoke. This dude right here. Tell me that's not Creed Humphrey on the wheel. That is Creed Humphrey right there. Man, their bodies shaped the same, too. At our other guard spot, we got Mai Beckton. This guy's an absolute force of nature on the field. His hair is not bad, but his face, I don't know what's going on. There looks like there's three different shades. I don't know if it's a skin thing. I don't know if it's a sunscreen thing. I don't want to assume this dude has like a skin condition of some sorts, but I think he definitely has a spot on this list at guard. It's just a skin. Ever since I saw this video of him after winning the Super Bowl, he got a bid for first team. The next guy on this list is probably the most chopped player in the video. Cody Mouch. Wow. He's got like everything combined. He took Andrew Van Ginkle's hair, Mai Beckton's skin. I mean, this beard runs all the way past his ear. This is nuts, man. This This guy takes the cake. He said he lost his front two teeth in a basketball game. Um, man, he wins MVP. This guy's the face of the franchise. All right. This guy's elite. At tight end, we have TJ Hawinson. I genuinely don't know what happened to this guy. He kind of looks like if George KD was chopped. Thing about him is he used to be fine. Like this is a good looking dude, but he turned into this. And my theory is the more chopped he got, the worse of a player he was. CUZ THIS TJ HAWINSON WAS WAY better than this TJ Hawinson. Now we have the wide receivers. Now there's a lot of contenders right here that could have won this award. All right, including my goat Cadarius Tony. We're starting off this list with my boy Jawan Jennings. All right, third and Jawan. I can't explain his hair. Uh this dude, he looks like a Minecraft torch. It reminds me of like uni sushi. All right, that that's what his hair reminds me of. I don't know how he still has this this How old is he? He's 28 years old. Yeah, I don't know. I I don't understand this hairstyle. At wide receiver, too, we have Travis Hunter. All right, very talented individual. Absolutely ch. This guy's one of the greatest talents football has ever seen. All right, Heisman Trophy winner. This is him at the Heisman Trophy ceremony. I just think when you, you know, get a face scan like this from college football 25, I think they're trying to send you a message, man. I think he's a great streamer. I think he's a great football player. He seems like a great guy. All right, but he's ugly. Someone said Travis Hunter the only dude who can go mouthto mouth with buddy healed. NFL Twitter seems to agree with me. All right, Travis [laughter] Hunter, he ugly as hell, man. Let's be honest. Look at HIS HAIRCUT. WHAT IS THAT CUT? [laughter] I don't know, man. Do y'all think Travis Hunter is good-look? Y'all let me know. No, this is crazy. I'm not going. But at wide receiver one, we have Tim Patrick. I don't think there's much that needs to be said. Hairline is crazy. Forehead big as hell. nose big as hell. You're in a mustache nappy. This is the bonafide wide receiver one of the team. I just don't think there's much to say, man. He's got bad teeth. This dude is just ugly. Holy. Next up, we got Scott Matlock at fullback. Jesus Christ, man. I got I got to adjust the brightness of my screen, man. This dude bright as hell. This dude is so ginger, man. He looks like a 3D model of Phineas from Phineas and Furb. Like, that's what this dude reminds me of. I've never seen him play a lick of football. I'm not going to lie, but he definitely is the most chopped fullback. Heading towards the last two positions in this video, we have running back and quarterback last. Now, at running back, I was honestly conflicted with four different options. We start off with Kyle Manungai. All right, this guy looks like an auntie. Jaylen Warren, I don't think his face is that chopped. After I kind of look like Jaylen Warren by his hair, man, he look like a Samoan auntie. Ree Hunt was also close. I mean, dude, he's pretty choppy. He could have been the starting running back. This might be a two running back system. My pick was Travis ETF. He looks like Megamind to me. I don't know if it's because of his head. A matter of fact, no. It It's cuz of his head. I don't know. Do y'all see this? Y'all got to let me know in the comments. Travis ETN is my pick. Some of my friends said Travis ETN is not even that bad looking, but I think he makes first team all pro. And last but not least, the final position, the most important position in football, we have quarterback. Let's start with the contenders. All right. At third team all chopped, we have Trevor Lawrence. I feel like this one's pretty straightforward. He looks like a lesbian. I don't know why whenever I see Lord Farquad, I just think Trevor Lawrence. At second team, all chopped, we got Lamar Jackson. She does have a point. So, my wife says Lamar Jackson will never win a Super Bowl because of one reason. He's too ugly. Apparently, she thinks the NFL doesn't want a guy as ugly as him raising the trophy. I look back over the past 20 years. My god, she may be right. Let's see if this point holds right here. Okay, Jaylen Herz. All right, Patrick Mahomes. Stafford's not badl looking. Tom Brady's one of the greatest looking humans I've ever seen in my life. Nick Fos, I don't know. Nah, I think Lamar's got him. Russell Wilson, fine. Lamar might have him, too, man. Big Ben is chopped. Come on. Okay, you know what? We're going to demote Lamar Jackson to third team. We're going to bring Trevor Lawrence up to second team. But the starting QB for the NFL first team all chopped is none other than Spencer Rap. This forehead, eyebrow, mustache, but different color beard. He got to go. >> I think he's by far the ugliest quarterback in the NFL. One of the ugliest players on this list. Looks like a Donis like like Drake's son. And if you've seen clips of him on Netflix, you'll know why I put him on this list. An offensive coordinator. I I mean, come on. It's got to be Arthur Smith. What is he doing in this photo? I think he just looks fatigued. He just looks tired. I just think this mustache is crazy. All right, this is our clearcut offensive coordinator. The first team all shot head coach is none other than Mike CFA. I don't think there's a difference here. I don't know, man. This guy just looks like a worm. Like, he looks like he wouldn't wear an undershirt under his hoodie. This guy looks like a free baller. All right, he's our head coach. And finally, the GM is me. All right, I'm the GM. I don't even know why I made this video. All right, I'm not qualified to be judging other people's looks when I look like this. I'm right in the sewer with these guys now. Now, I DO THINK I COULD GET A COUPLE OF GUYS, SPECIFICALLY CODY MALC, DJ FLUKER. I think I GOT SPENCER RATTLER ON A GOOD DAY. But overall, I'm right down there with them. I'm the general manager of this list. Y'all let me know in the comments down below what you guys think. Leave a like if you guys enjoyed this video, man. Thank you guys so much for all your support.