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starts with a pop. >> I think I got the voice back. >> No, it's going to be a minute. It's going to be a minute and someone's going to have to hold my mic. >> I literally got this back. >> I also have I'm not like Doesn't that sound >> I'm not necessarily good at this. >> Scared of it. As you can see, >> I can do it. >> You had it for a minute. >> I had it, dude. I sounded just like Zack. Zack Hel for a second. >> No. No. >> What? >> Please don't point it at me. I'm really scared of champagne. >> Why? >> Because when I was a kid, there was a cork that flew around my house. I admitted it. You admit it. >> I admitted it. >> I'm admitting it. I hate how loud it gets. >> I don't want to get >> No. >> I want to get the pop sound. I think the pop sound would be perfect. >> Oh my god, it's so close to being out. >> There we go. >> Okay. >> Oh my god, it didn't even bubble. >> I'm a master. >> I'm master. Good. A lot of people laugh or or yell when they see comedians that turn to horror. I smile. I guess >> I smirk and I go. Yep. >> Good luck. That's what you say. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> Because I'm usually blackout drunk when I hear about this. Because that's the only way I can watch a movie like that. >> Yeah. >> Yep. >> Yeah. Plast. >> You just blackout drunk from the >> aisle at the Regal Cinemas. Yep. Yeah. >> I can't even make it to my seat. I had the mcguffins. I had too much aviator >> jin. I had [ __ ] >> Let's find out. >> Where's the hat with the sticker on it? Where you going, man? Where you going? Come on. Come on. Let me go. I'm not boxed. Come on. I [ __ ] got to I'm writing a I'm a journalist. >> Journalist writing on my letter box, man. [ __ ] [ __ ] movies. Got amazing popcorn at this theater. >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] sitting on the on the stairs. I'm just doing >> Oh yeah. >> Come. >> Come. You got to the letter box. >> Yo, >> five stars. There's five stars in the movie. >> There's Daniel Ku. Daniel Kua. Daniel Kua. He invented family invented that. >> Alison Williams. >> Yeah. From girls. Uh, Office Space. >> Office Space. Wow. >> [ __ ] Bad Guy from Billy Madison. Bad Guy from Billy Madison. Dude, >> that's the day. >> The movie gets five >> stars. Stars. I have a I have a new letter box that has 5,000 stars and I give it to all this movie. >> I went to watch it. >> I went to watch it. >> I went to [ __ ] watch it. He's dictating >> I have to watch [ __ ] watching my review. >> The movie is starting soon and I will give my thoughts as they >> dictating dictating. Yeah. Through the entire movie. Just the review. >> Oh yeah. >> So it had the serial scene. So, she's eating cereal and milk separate. That's kind of [ __ ] weird. >> That's white. >> Yeah. So, the white >> I guess that's a white thing I didn't know about. >> Only person in the theater. >> Well, then it would be fine. >> Yeah, >> it's okay to do that. >> Y'all don't get to know at all about our bubble. >> Remember when you were always accusing me of being parasocial with you? >> Yeah, because you still are. >> I'm not. >> I You have You've been >> I want you to know >> you're on good terms with me right now, but >> let's keep it chill. I am I have zero interest in having a relationship with you outside of this show. >> Okay. >> I don't want to be your friend. >> I know >> you're just some [ __ ] thing >> to me. >> It took us a long time to get here. >> I've always felt like that about you. >> Not always felt like you were bound pretty early on. >> You did not draw that boundary at all. >> I did. >> There was never that boundary drawn because you would always on the show ask me about things about the goings on in my life. >> No, I wouldn't. >> Yes, you did. And I want you to know when I ask you if you want to be my boyfriend or if you're interested in becoming boyfriend girlfriend with me. >> I don't think it's all just a joke. I have no interest in actually >> it's all for them. >> No, cuz that cuz you what you're you you're acting like that that is uh that is like just for the show. >> But what you're actually doing is opening up a parasocial. You're actually creating a hole in the parasocial wall that you've created >> by saying things like this. Yes. Because then you get them invested. Oh my god. When are they going to be boyfriends? Can they be boyfriends for 30 minutes one episode? >> I did say we could do it for two weeks one time. Exactly. You said yes. And they said and they online they're sitting there and they're drawing art of us of >> It sounds like you are being parasocial trying to get in with all these people. >> I'm not I'm trying I message you trying to reach through the camera. >> I message them. I say shut the [ __ ] up. I say shut up. >> You shouldn't message. They say I look in the comments all my comments get deleted by somebody who's uh working on the show. But I every every week >> every week every single comment I just reply and I say shut the [ __ ] up. Shut up right now. It's not happening. >> It's not happening. >> Nobody's asking us to >> I think he looks like a worm. >> He's the one that called you fat. Say that he looks like something worm. Maybe the worm Jim Norton, but not a Jim Norton. >> Yeah, you look like Jim. >> I do. Of course I do. >> Something meaner. >> Very, very special night of spirits. >> The rumben. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What are you doing? >> Nothing. >> Oh, this is part of your costume. >> What? What, [ __ ] What? Wait, what did you change this to? What does it say now? What does it say? I want to touch a kid. >> So, not only are you going to wear a hat that says that, but you're just going to tell it to everyone on the podcast that you want to do. >> Everyone that you freak going to say it loud and proud. >> Dude, it's my Halloween costume. I'm Patrick. The third time somebody's gone as Patrick. >> You know that you could be as Patrick cuz he does have that sweatshirt. That's true. And also because of the hat and what it says and what it means like humans was like everywhere like everyone was talking about. Nothing. >> You just looked at me and laughed. What does it say? >> Um that's a good one. It's not too bad. It's just tell me what it says. I had a touching experience last year. >> That's great. >> Yeah, >> that's pretty good for you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I didn't want it to be crass cuz there's people that walk by that could see it. >> Yeah. There's going to be a lot of >> thought. What if somebody had seen this thing that says I want to touch a kid and just didn't even think about it and executed me through the door with a gun? >> Would you feel any >> I would feel remorse maybe for the rest of my life. >> I think one day one of your one of your horrifically awful pranks is going to blow up in your face. I think it's going to get me killed >> and I would have to live with that. >> You will. The only time where I feel like I've seen a true blue missile >> was when I went to the spa. I went to a spa in LA with Eric and Nate and everything was pretty much normal. >> What? >> Which of them, man? Come on. >> Huh? Oh, it wasn't either of them. It wasn't either of them. But there was a guy. We were just having a normal time sitting in one of the tubs completely naked. And there was a guy out of the corner of my eye. >> Yeah. And you were wearing this hat. >> I was What does this say now? >> It says the same thing. Don't worry about it. >> I don't believe you. What does it say? Hold on. Wait. I can't look at this. [ __ ] godamn it. >> I'm touchy >> with this emoji. >> Talking about talking about the time you went to a spa the biggest penis you've ever seen. >> Dude, there's a guy touchy. >> There was a guy who wasn't even in the baths. He was just taking a shower. >> Yeah. >> And his penis was below his knee. >> Mhm. Mhm. >> And >> says touchy. Touchy, touchy. >> It's always a guy with the >> I would have liked to have touched it. Yeah, >> just to see what it >> would feel like yours, man. There's no point in touching another. >> It would not feel like >> Oh, no. Unless you Unless there's a visible scab on it. It's just going to feel like touching another. >> It doesn't have a scab. >> What do you mean a visible scab? >> You can have an invisible scab underneath the skin. Oh, you guys don't have to deal with that. >> Oh, because of the foreskin thing, man. >> What is the procedure? I've always wanted to ask you. circumcision. >> No, I know about that. >> But you're an animal. Don't watch Open Season. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Pretty sad. >> And I also won the Zootopia 2 challenge and nobody even wants to talk to me about >> Oh, wait. Oh, wait. Have we talked about this on the show? >> Did you Did you notice [ __ ] radio silence after >> Well, but I I brought it up. I told you to look it up. Zootopia. I I admit your my defeat. >> Me, too. What did I Didn't even remember. I don't think I fully I think I'm No, don't don't fully win. I think me and Joe split the win. >> Yeah, I think I I think I >> Joe splits the win. >> Yeah. Well, we'll get into here. We'll read through the whole thing and we'll explain. >> Basically, Zootopia 2 revealed a how long? A few months ago, I think now they revealed there would be a cloaked figure in >> Okay, Pat or Cameron said in our office group chat, "First look at the mysterious villain in Zoo Zootopia 2." This was on May 20th. >> It was that long ago. >> Yep. And he showed this picture. Really? Wait, are you kidding me? >> No, it was May 20th. >> That's crazy. >> May 20th he showed this picture. Can you get get my Well, yeah. >> It feels like we just talked about this. We talked about >> May. That's insane. >> Yeah. I said I was the first one who predicted anything. I said it's a bat. >> Alex said, >> "That's a bad guess." >> Alex said, "I think it'll be a bug." >> And then Cameron said it's likely a reptile. >> Yes. >> So that was my Yeah. >> Then Patrick said a salamander, which is a reptile. >> I think it's an amphibian. >> Yeah. But it's, you know, for the purposes of a >> Sure. But let's just if we're if this is an animal themed episode, I really want to get everyone. >> It's going to be a cute kitten. It's going to take off the scary hood and the ador and be adorable type of thing. >> Also, terrible writing. And it is Secret Life. That's Secret Life of Peasants. >> It's also Zootopia 1. >> Well, that's what Cameron said. The Zootopia 1 villain was a cute animal though. This emoji, >> you really think they'd repeat that? And I said, that's why I said bad. I guess I meant bad. But then Joe said, "I'm telling you guys, that's a cat or a turtle." Cam said, "Everybody lock in Joe's prediction. It's going to be an animal." >> Joe said, "My guess is cat, but turtle is a possibility." And then I said, "I just realized it could be the world's first human, which would have been cool." >> That would have been cool. >> Or a plant. >> And then Pierce said, "It's Darth Maul." >> Oh, but then we kept going. >> Yeah. A storm was kicked up. I mean, this was real. This was like long conversation but that yeah that's why and it came up again a couple times this image of a cat drawing a cat though affronted that nobody nobody celebrated when I revealed the answer >> and then Cam did this image my my second theory was that the eyeing eyes were actually going to be nostrils and there was on the marketing a character a beaver that had nostrils that were shaped that way and Alex discussed just a month ago >> and then Joe made this which is General Grievous that was pretty cool. >> Which was pretty cool. And he got only one reaction from that, which is kind of surprises me. But he said, "General G." >> Pat said, "Bro, this goes hard." >> Cam said, "General Beis and then later five minutes later said nothing for General Beas." >> And then that was the end of that was Zootopia. That was the first one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> The first storm. Yes. And then I said I kicked it back up because I said, "Did anyone see Zootopia 2?" This was in November. >> Yeah. >> Didn't Joe have a big prediction? >> Yes. >> Cameron said, "I had a prediction, too." >> Joe said the evil villain was going to be a cute kitten. Joe said, "Do we know who the hooded character was?" Pier said, "Isn't it a snake?" >> Which is kind of crazy because it was a snake. It was a snake. Spoiler alert. >> And this is before the movie came out because Cam said, "Zootopia comes out on November 26th." Joe says the snake was in the trailer and not in the hood. Cam said, "Set set your reminders." >> I believe it's a different snake than the than that. >> It's got to be a different one. Cam said, "Set your reminders." I said the eyes of the hood were going to turn out to be nostrils. And then he sent all of the or Joe sent all of the screenshots from the conversation that I just read. And he said, "I screenshots have been resent like three or four times." >> Patrick said salamander with a lizard emoji. >> You have to read the salamander saga of this part because the salamander thing gets interesting here. >> Okay. I remember this. I don't remember this either. Pat said Salamander can't Oh, cuz Oh, this is what So, I was I was watching Beonia and I remembered this movie was coming out while I was at the theaters and I sent the text that was like, did Joe have a big prediction and then for the entirety of the movie I was my phone was blowing the [ __ ] up just and I was like, I [ __ ] know this is just them talking about Zootopia. So, Cam said, can I guess reptile or is that too broad? Patrick sent a screenshot of a Google with an AI a Google search he made with an AI overview where he said salamander from Zootopia. The AI overview said there is no salamander character in the original Zootopia film, but the upcoming uh sequel Zootopia 2 will introduce a new character named Jesus, a basilisk lizard who may be mistaken for a salamander. The original film features a character named Kyle who is a fire salamander, but his role in the film was small and he was a background character. I forgot about Kyle. Oh, I keep reading about Kyle. The Kyle thing was so funny. >> And Pat said, "Honestly, the salamander could have a heel turn." And Cam said, "Is there really a fire salamander named Kyle in Zootopia 1?" >> Alex said, "The villain is going to be the beaver." General Beas again. Nothing for that. >> Yeah. Cat says, "I'm not seeing anything about Kyle on the Zootopia wiki." >> Yeah, I had I did I had to research, dude. >> Alex said, "And the glowing eyes are going to be the teach." Cam said, "A fire salamander." Alex said, "Glowing teeth." Pat said, >> Pat said, "I just found it." And he sent a a link to Zootopia-city.fandom.com. And this >> this is >> Kyle the Fire Salamander according to >> according to Google. Google Gemini said that this is actually in >> he had a small role. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That shows up when you when you look when you look up is there a salamander in Zootopia. They say they say with like full confidence they say Kyle the fire salamander. Kyle is a fire salamander which >> he salamanders exist in real life. >> Mythological creature. The note is he's a political extremist and has attempted to burn down Zootopia City Hall multiple times but has been stopped by Luke. >> I don't know who Luke is. Let me >> go look up Luke Zootopia. >> You want me to look up Luke? >> Yeah. Still shows it still in the Zootopia universe's extended media. >> Wait, look. He's on the right in the sidebar. >> Played by Dave. played by Dave Dave Gos from the Muppets. >> Tiptoeing in my Jordan. >> In my Jordan. Um, >> so this was a background character in Zootopia. >> This was around. >> I don't know if he looked like that, but >> can you look up Luke on this wiki? I just looked it up and nothing came. The only thing that comes up is Kyle. >> Oh my god, that's crazy. >> So Pat said, "I just found it." Alex said, "Whoa." Pier said it will be Scar from Lion King. >> And then Cam sent new leaked images of Zootopia 2 from Thailand. And Cam sent the picture of this guy. >> This is an otter. >> This otter. Let me turn up my bra. >> That was the new That was the leaked picture. >> Yeah. >> He sent a picture of this otter and said, >> "It's a cool purple otter. >> This guy looks like bad news." >> Alex sent this picture of I don't know if you can see him on the left there and said, >> "Beaver. >> The beaver has the nostrils." >> Cam said, "The beaver's nostrils line up with the hooded figure's eyes." And Alex said, "Holy [ __ ] they do. >> I can't believe this has been going on for six months." >> Yeah. 6 months of Zootopia. >> Yeah. >> I never had milk flat my nose. I never was drinking so much milk. >> It was why your bones are so weak. >> Even then, I was trying to break my arm right now. >> Sorry. weak. If you had had milk as a kid, that wouldn't have bothered you. There's >> no way that actually hurt, though. >> My arm is numb. >> You know that that was hard. You know that was hard. >> I could tell that was hard. It wasn't that hard. There's no way I'm strong enough to hurt you. >> It's already swelling up. Look at my arm. >> That's not swelling. That's a red tattoo. >> Move it. >> You can't move his arm. Pat, >> he can move it. Oh, >> he can move it. That's not swelling, dude. It's a red tattoo. >> No, he's sw it's swelling on It's Look, it's swelling in these little dark lines on his arm. >> Oh, he has the dark lines is an eagle that he drew. >> No, look. Look. >> You broke my arm. >> These dark lines are swelling out of his arm. >> Ow. That's your These are swelling out of his arm. >> Dude, we got to get these to stop swelling. >> Are these swelling out of any other part of your body? >> Showing you the right swell. >> Wait, let me see. >> Ow. Ow. I wonder if this stuff is swelling on any other part of his body that we could see. >> That's hair. >> That's hair. >> I wonder if we could see any other part of his body. >> I thought that was I thought that was his veins. I didn't think that was hair. >> You can't. >> Don't look at my penis. >> Do you have a hole in your crotch? >> Oh, yeah. Look. >> Two. >> Oh, I do have one. >> You have two, man. >> Wait, do you How does that happen so much? >> I don't. I bet it felt like Vietnam down there, man. >> I didn't touch it. I didn't touch. I didn't touch. >> Felt like Vietnam. I >> swear I didn't touch. >> Shit's humid. I can feel it just when I put my finger down here. Feels like the jungle. Feels like the [ __ ] jungle, man. >> That brings back a lot of memories. Back when we were coming out, >> the dugout king was the only position that mattered in basketball. >> Being the funniest kid in the dugout. >> You're the king of being dug out in a certain position. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, name the pos. I mean, I wouldn't even say certain. I would say multiple. >> Name it. Multiple. Multiple positions. >> You're the king of being dug out in multiple positions. >> You said name the position. Yeah. Mr. Spicy. >> That's my position. What? How's that one work? >> Mr. Spicy. >> Mr. Spicy. Yeah. >> Giving it a name. >> So, I got the position that you invented. >> It's your position. >> Let's see. In what way can I be bottoming in sex and then make it zesty enough that it needs to have >> Yeah. How can it possibly more to bottom? How could you make >> No, I'm saying I'm saying you already have doggy style missionary. How can I make a position that is so over the top zesty that it is called the Mr. Spicy? >> Yeah, that is a good question. >> How can I make that? >> And I I would like I be doing >> Yeah, I would like to add that the constraints for this challenge >> is that it can't involve any outside. It's simply the position of your body. >> It can't be any urban dictionary style things that you add stuff or you have something. This is one that you can whip out. You can whip out at a moment's notice. >> You know the picture, you know the picture of >> Jar Jar Banks with the big ass? >> Yeah. That used to send everyone. You know the way he's sitting where he has like his hand >> and he's holding it and he's like kind of looking back and smiling. I would say that's >> Yeah. But that's already established >> as what? >> As the Binks pose. >> That's Binks. >> Yeah. You have to make your own entirely new position >> and you have to get up on the table and do it. >> Yeah, I won't be doing that. >> That's the thing that you have to Yeah, you have to show us how zesty you can get. >> I mean, I could get very very zesty as you both know, but I Is it Is it Do I have one partner in this amazing dance of love or do I have as many as I want? >> I think let's say one. >> Yeah, >> it's probably two. I mean, yeah, the challen we're trying to make the name of this know Peter, Paul, and Mary for me. >> Mr. Spicy, right? >> Mr. Spicy. I'm going to say >> just just imagine. Yeah. And maybe we can get a Oh, I wish we had the white board. >> I'm going to say I'm grabbing my ankles. I'm bent all the way over, but I've had a lot of practice and I'm reaching. I'm My head is coming back up and it's in my ass cheeks right below my [ __ ] So that when whoever's [ __ ] me, I can lick their shaft into their balls as they go into my ass. >> That's Mr. Spicy. >> You know what? Sure. >> There it is. That's Mr. spicy. >> It's pretty spicy. >> I think >> it's more like horrifying, I think, like on a body level. >> It's kind of el It's kind of uh >> It's kind of cronin bird. I agree. It's elevated. >> It's kind of Mr. Fl, >> but I I commend you. I commend you for being able to to figure it out. Yeah, >> I think that's I don't think anyone's done that before. Something where you can lick your somebody's boner as they goes in and out of your ass. >> I don't think anybody's tried to even draw that. >> No, no one's tried it. Maybe someone's tried it. Maybe someone's >> We don't have to worry about that. >> Drawn it in. >> I think we can I think we can plant our flag. I think we can claim it. >> Okay, Mr. Spicy. >> The official position of podcast about list. Mr. >> We do a one page the Kamasutra part tutra >> and it's just that >> we should do our own kamas. >> Can we do the kamasutra part tutra? >> Partutra. >> I think we should because I think that you us three could invent a lot of different sex positions. >> Totally toad. >> We're going have to do a lot toad. Theod totally toads. What's the totally toads? >> The kama tutra. Totally toads. >> Do gay guys blow air out their Is it >> Yes, they do. >> Is it wrong to say that gay guys blow air out their ass? I mean, it is wrong to you know what? Cuz it used to be a slur in the 70s. >> Air blower. >> Yeah. >> Blow. Air blow. >> There's no way air blower was a >> guys like guys like my grandpa would be like, "Get out of here, you [ __ ] air blower." But that kind of insinuates that somebody's shooting air up their ass, which is >> they are. >> It's no. >> Yeah, >> it's [ __ ] You know what it is? >> How do they get it out? How do they get all the pop out? >> Pop. Pop. >> How do you think they get all the pop out? >> I don't know. Water. >> It's water. That's not water. >> No. No. No. No. >> Isn't it water? >> No. They blow compressed air up there. >> No, they don't. >> You think like a computer? >> Like a computer. They blow all It shoots out. Shoot the pop out. >> They shoot the pop out with compressed air. >> I don't think >> I know more about I know more about I have more gay friends than both of you guys combined. >> What if I told you that? >> I don't think I could believe that. >> I have a whole second social circle that is all gay friends. >> I would believe it. >> I have a good amount of gay friends, but I would be willing to bet that Patrick has at least three times as many gay friends. >> That might be just he has more friends generally than >> Well, that Yeah, that definitely comes into the calculations as well, but I would also bet that probably most of his friends are gay. I think a good amount of my friends are gay. >> Would you say more than 50%. >> No, >> I would say 33% of my friends are gay. >> Really? One in every third friend is gay. >> Yeah, that's actually that's a very close estimate. Yeah. One in every one in every 2.73. So there's some people that don't know yet. >> Okay. Okay. I'm not gay. What about me is gay? When you look at me, what is gay? I don't know. >> You think that's gay? >> Yeah. You think that's gay? That's [ __ ] homophobic. You piece of [ __ ] >> What? Kissing. >> Yeah. Trying to kiss another guy, you homophobe. >> Years of oppression and they have to deal with you making fun of them. I'm offended on behalf of all my gay friends and our gay listeners and viewers. >> Will you just right now will you take a picture of him doing that and text it to all of your gay friends in in one group chat that's called Patrick's gay friends >> and say, "Can you believe what he's saying about you guys? >> Can you right now make a group chat of every gay person? >> Go through your phone >> and name it." Wait, can you do the thing on Instagram where you send send an Instagram reel to a bunch of people and instead of sending it separately, you accidentally make a group text to like 80 gay people? >> Will you actually go through the contacts on your phone and go straight straight straight gay >> cuz he also gives a good haircut. He wears his hat that he likes. >> Yeah, the trilby. >> Yeah. >> Yep. You got to And you whenever you wear hat like that, you got to go >> uhhuh. >> I mean, that took me some years to learn, but >> I learned that pretty easy. >> Okay. I know how to fly around >> cuz I'm going to be I'm going to be that type of bald guy when I'm 40. >> You're going to wear the Trilby >> Trilby Dicky's work shirt. 17inch long Dickies pants 17 long white socks. >> No, the 17inch inseam, bro. >> 17inch inseam would be like to here. >> No, no, no, no, no, no. That's down to here. You measure the 17in inseam would be right here. >> From here? >> Yeah. You measure from here >> from this >> from this area. This is your inseam. >> From here. This is the inseam right here. This is the in 17 in would be to your Does it start from the back back here? >> No, it starts from It's literally on this part. No. >> Is it down that >> dude? You can wear clothing morons. >> You can smell if you want, but it's not going to be a good idea. >> Smell the rice. >> Where the right >> It's not going to be a good idea. >> Hold on. Yeah, I'm I'm a different kind of tailor. I need >> Look, I need a I'm an old school Italian. >> This is how we do it in old school. There were kids in the bus stop. Hey, man. I got to learn somehow. That's on them. They're They're eavesdropping. They're looking. Yeah, we need to close that gate. Dude, he's >> She dreams of anything other than fat slob. >> She wants to [ __ ] every >> She's a She's a slute. >> She's a a slute. >> She's a Simpson slute. >> She's a slute. Yeah. >> Jesus. What happened in the later seasons that I don't know about? I've only seen season myself. >> That's a See, to me that I'm unfazed by that cuz that's an everyday, bro. >> Yeah, >> that's every day. >> Is your shirt ool or hydrophobic? Why >> olophobic? >> Is it olio? >> Your shirt oolio like that pasta with the oil. Now it's Now it's getting absorbed. I was going to say it would be cool if he had a hydrophobic shirt. >> Doesn't understand time. >> Oh, now it's getting absorbed. Interesting. >> Well, it was it was droplet that you're staring at my body when I have a wet t-shirt. >> Yeah, that is kind of strange. >> Oh my god, you have so many droplets on you still. >> I know. >> Is this shirt hydrophobic? >> No, it's a [ __ ] normal shirt. >> He sprayed himself with that spray from Journeys, dude. The hydrophobic spray. >> The one that goes on shoes. >> Yeah. >> Why would I do that? guarded his shirt. Dump that whole bottle on your shirt. >> I'm practically dead. >> Dump the whole >> water. The droplets are all gone. They've absorbed. >> No, dude. I swear my shirt's not hydrophobic. >> That's how you sound. >> I do sound that way cuz that's what I'm saying. >> Prove it's not hydrophobic right now. He did. >> They absorbed. He did. I fully proved it. How do we know that you know by part of your shirt that was not sprayed with the hydrophobic spray? >> Yours isn't. >> Yours is. >> [ __ ] god. Why' I do that? >> Fully as hydrophobic. >> Wait, stay standing up. >> It looks like I pissed myself. It's exactly where I would pee. And now I have to sit in a wet chair. Why did I do that? >> It was all a trick. >> I lost. >> It was all a trick. >> I lost that battle. This is an amazing trick. Amazing. Amazing turn around. >> It looks like I peed out of my [ __ ] vagina. >> Yeah. >> Into the floor. >> Remember Remember we had the Super Bowl party and I came in with that [ __ ] watery ass salsa. >> I made too much of it. >> No, you No, me neither. >> No, but I think you're a loser. >> Why? >> Just generally. But >> what? What's that about, man? Say that for what? >> I didn't mean that. >> You think I'm a loser? generally. No, I don't think I think you're a winner. I think you're one of the coolest guys I know. I don't know why I said that. >> Yeah, I think you're >> I actually have no idea why I said that. >> You think I'm a loser cuz I made my own salsa. >> No, I I'm I'm telling you because I'm a loser. Generally, I don't think you're a loser reasons other than it back. I walked it back. I don't know why I said that. >> Some things you can't take back. It's [ __ ] cruel, man. Dude, don't mix water and coffee. That's what I'll say. >> Yeah, you said that for this reason. >> You [ __ ] up, dude. There is no reason to be being caffeinated and hydrated at the same time. >> Yeah, water nated or hydrated would be correct. Correct. >> Hydration. But I believe you. I have no choice but to believe you. >> There's that one guy that I've been talking about that kept coming in here and saying that he wants to come on the podcast and talk about >> the oil rig that he worked on. And finally, he opened the door and was like, "You need to type in the password. you need to type in, not the password, but you need to type in what your show is called >> onto my phone. And I said, "Yep, >> buddy. Look up Joe Box. It's a game show that we do in here." And uh he left a comment the other day. >> You want to read the comment? >> I want to read this out loud. And Joe didn't approve this. >> Joe Joe is keeping this. >> He didn't let it come. >> This is on Patreon exclusive. Yeah, >> this is a Patreon exclusive. >> If he does find if he does subscribe to the Patreon, maybe he becomes a fan of the show. He could. He could. You know what? He might hate Joe Box, but then he'll find >> I want you to I know that he censors himself here. I want you to read all the cusses, though. >> Okay, I'm going to read all the cusses. But, uh, >> again, maybe maybe he just doesn't like Joe Box. Maybe he'll like podcast about True. I mean, here's >> I also told him every time I said, "We're called The Yard Podcast. >> Look it up." Uh, but he said, his name is Veto. He says, "Uh, I never witnessed a bunch of stupid people in one room. It's amazing they even survive life. Life the [ __ ] are you guys doing? What are you saying? You guys are a bunch of idiots. I'm the guy that lives across the street. I wanted to look at your podcast cuz I like to know what's in my neighborhood. Now I see you guys are [ __ ] I'm the guy that lives across the street. >> I'm the guy that lives across the street. >> Yeah. >> I'd like to know what's going on in my neighborhood. >> Yeah. I think it's I think it's pretty I think it's bad news. I think this is a bit going to become a problem. >> Yeah. You think so? >> You can see this snowballing. >> Well, do you remember the the horrible ordeal that was happening here? Oh, yeah. >> Well, he only knows about Joe Box. He's not gonna like I think that is him putting the line in the sand. >> You're underestimating this guy. That's first of all, Joe Box is the video he commented on is the three of us. >> Yeah. >> Also, he it doesn't matter if he knows Joe Box or what. He clearly hates it. He knows exactly where it is. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. There was It was a He tried to kill a woman. >> Yeah, he did a year ago. It could be one of his Yeah, there was some kind of forced her into prostitution or something. >> It was something like that. >> I don't know if that's the lady got the roomate of that guy. Oh, he could be a really cool guy that could leave normal comments like that. Yeah. >> Every once in a while 4,000 cop cars here. >> That's good, too. >> Yeah. >> Pastor Kenari says he has never found another woman he can marry after separating from Betty Beao. >> They separated. >> They separated. >> But they were just investing in Runda. >> Yeah. See you. >> People also ask, "Was Betty Beao married to Patrick Kenyari? What has happened to Betty Beao? Who is Betty Beao's husband? Who was Betty Beao? >> Who is Betty Beao? I want >> I want to look up. >> Don't ask. Oh, it's bringing up results in BBC Pigeon. >> Betty, >> you want to read this? >> All right. Betty Beao, now popular Kenyan musician. We day often sing for her native tongue, Aiku. Aikuyu. >> She rised to prominence during the 2010s as part of one strong wave of Kiu gospel singers. Her voice and her songs cut across church walls and become trendy songs for town halls, household radios, and online platforms. >> Okay. >> Tributes pour in for Kenya gospel singer Betty Beaway die. >> She died. Speed. >> Oh my god. >> This next suggested question. What was Betty Beao suffering from? A family representatives who spoke to the media at Kenyatta Hospital explained that Betty had been unwell since the previous week, battling acute leukemia and suffering from excessive bleeding. >> This is horrible. >> Yeah, this is horrible. >> Did this h Did Pastor Kenyari do that? >> Gave her leukemia. What is the story behind Betty Boo? >> That's the next question. >> Uh I want to learn that. >> Now it's bringing up Betty Boop. >> Oh, >> what is the hidden meaning of Betty Boop? >> The symbol of female hidden meaning. >> What does boop mean in slang? >> [ __ ] What does boobies mean in slang? >> Boobs. What is the ick for? >> Why is my girlfriend's breast so soft? >> That's a good question. Ask answer that one. >> Oh, by menopause, most women's breasts are completely soft. >> What is it called when a guy has female boobies? >> Gynecomastia. >> What is a Snoopy breast? >> That's a good Let's Let's see that one. >> Breasts that are not round in shape. That's a Snoopy breast. Mhm. What causes torpedo breasts? >> What is a man's bra called? >> Why do female nipples stick out? That's a good question. >> That is a good question. >> There's a lot of good questions on Google. Why do girls stimulate their areola? >> I don't know. >> It's never always been a mystery to me. >> Oh, it says it's an important understudied female arerogynous zone. >> Oh, >> that's not understudied by me, man. >> Yeah. >> Why do my girlfriend's nipples get hard when I play with them? I don't know. Yeah, actually >> tackling that. >> Why are men interested in nipples, >> dude? I mean, these questions go on forever. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Why do men stare at women's breasts? >> What does it mean when a guy stares at your private area? >> What does it mean when a guy pulls up his pants? >> That's a good question. That's a good question. >> Pulling up his pants may be a subtle way of tidying himself up or adjusting his appearance. >> I know that's what it means when I do it. >> What is the two-finger test for pants? I know the two. >> What does 4232 mean in pants? >> It means you're fat fat and short. >> What does the 4232 mean? >> What could this possibly mean? >> You have their heart. >> Actually, you know what I was what I was told as a kid? This has nothing to do with horses, though. >> What? >> Uh, emu or wait, no. Yeah. Emu versus lion. Who wins? Emu. Oh, you're going to say a fun fact that's >> emu the emuh kicks the lion in the face and its jaw is broken. So the jaw stared this lion starves to death. >> My brother told me this. He was like if you put an emu and a lion in a cage and you have him fight, the emu will kick the lion in the face, break his jaw, and then the lion starves. >> You know, if they're in a cage together, I think the lion's still killing the emu before it starves to death. >> Yeah. But what if he breaks every one of his fingers too with a kick? >> I don't think he has fingers. >> I mean, if the emu don't have fingers. [ __ ] you. >> [ __ ] you. Lions don't have fingers. >> What's on their claws now? What is or what are their claws attached to? >> Paws. They got paws, bro. >> What are the pieces of that of meat that come >> toes? They all have to >> What's the [ __ ] difference between a finger and a toe on a damn >> literally everything cuz it's not opposable. >> Grasping the poseable. >> Well, the fingers don't have to be opposable. It's the thumbs that are opposable. But the >> fingers are poseable. >> Why are you both so good, though? Well, because you didn't like my story >> and you said it was utter [ __ ] You said fingers aren't. Okay, let's re let's read this. Let's agree that his idea was [ __ ] about the emu. >> It's not my idea. >> Makes a little bit of sense, but that's my posed finger. >> He just picked up his phone. Well, I got to show I I'm not I'm not sure you heard this. >> Oh, my song. >> But I spent the money that I sent him for fur to get this Hi, Senor Pete. This video was booked uh from your pray uh PD and he asked me to sing for you and uh to congratulate you for buying him a pool soup while uh he's sick. And he wants me to congratulate you for your brand new car. I mean your brand new red car. Every time in the world you see life when you have the destiny for the light. I wish you all the best. This was from your friend. Mhm. That's Abdullah. I found him on Cameo. >> Video is from your friend. >> Say, >> he's amazing, dude. >> That's one of the most beautiful lyrics I've ever heard. How much of that >> money did you spend on that? >> That was like $4. >> $4. Okay. >> Yeah. >> So, this is what makes me a little bit >> You want You want $15 back right now? >> No. No. No. You wanted me to buy a bigger cameo person. >> I wanted you to get some dessert for yourself and you instead of spending that money. >> Fun fudge, bro. >> Oh, right. >> Fun fudge. >> Well, I didn't want dessert. I only wanted soup because I was feeling so terrible. >> Yeah, dessert is tough when you're sick. >> I'll give him that. >> I think it's tough to to muster up the courage to order it when you're sick because >> mustard dessert. >> Mustard. >> I would eat that. >> You would eat that. >> Mustard dessert. >> You like sweet. You do. You [ __ ] fall out. >> Yeah, >> man. What kind of trivia can we ask him about the show that he maybe wouldn't know? >> I don't even know what I don't know. >> Well, yeah. Realizing that makes sense. >> It's tough. Sort of. >> I'm probably You're probably You guys don't even realize you're asking the lore keeper right now. >> Are you the lore keeper? >> Do you consider yourself the lore keeper of this show? >> Yes. >> What's the deepest piece of lore? >> Okay. What's piece of What's a piece of trivia that we can ask you that you don't know? >> Y'all, we got to make the pal iceberg. What's at the very bottom of the pal iceberg with the very scary picture of the dolphin >> with the first of all the ghost video game for sure. >> That's definitely >> the ghost video game. >> I don't think that was public knowledge. >> Um Oh, the the Manhattan Institute DM. >> I don't know what, bro. >> Yeah, Cameron, you did it. >> I did it. Oh, no. >> What is >> you? >> It's always a bad sign when something I did and I don't remember it. It always made something really bad. What? DM'd the Manhattan the Manhattan project, the Manhattan Institute, and you all you said >> the Manhattan Institute. >> You said activate neutron bomb. >> Wait, that's something you would consider to be lore. >> That's lore cuz that that was at uh Neil's Lake House. >> Okay. I don't remember this. >> Activate neutron bomb. You knew it word for word. >> I think Well, >> dude, stay off. >> I think that's what it said. >> I think that's what it said. This is back before I was on the show. This is when I was social media manager. >> Yeah. >> Activate Neutron B. That is pretty good to the Manhattan Institute. >> I don't even know what that is, man. >> I don't either. >> Here's a here's a DM here >> to uh Jack Pobiac. >> Who's that? I don't remember who that is. >> Uh he's like a he he works for Turning Point USA. >> Oh, okay. All right. >> Yeah. So, >> what is this one? This is for under Erica Kirk. >> Uh, Jack Pobic. This is a message that I forget who sent this, but it said, "Where do you live? Want to mail a parcel?" To which he responded by blocking us immediately. >> That's really rude of him. I mean, yeah. Who can say what the >> I think these guys exist in rudeness. They thrive in it. >> I know. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of their whole MMO. Yeah. Do >> you have any other deep lore that you want to drop, dude? >> Um, we are blocked by or no, not blocked, but okay, never mind. Lucifer on Netflix. We sent them a bunch of DMs and just said, "Demon, demon, be gone, demon, come back from what you came. Repent sin. Repent sin." >> That's pretty. >> They blocked us. >> No. No. You just can't. Um, >> they closed the game because of us, most likely. >> Anything else good in there? >> Um, let me see here. >> He's He's right now. He's licking his fingers and going through a filing cabinet. Manila folders. >> I'm going through my I'm going through the lore. >> Yeah. >> This is to Blue Lives Matter New York. >> Okay. >> Hello. Want to report a crime. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. What happened to protect and serve? You cannot message this person because you are not verified. >> Damn, >> dude. >> Oh, well that blue. They're not talking about police labs when they say blue lives matter. >> Here's what >> Carl's Jr. Hello Carl. I have a complaint about your restaurant on 1137 Regal Road in Ensenus. Let's hear it. The food was too good. Did they respond? >> No. >> What? >> That's really good. >> That's such a layup for them, man. >> That's great. That's what >> the food was too good. Maybe the food was too good, man. I like Burger King. >> Yeah, that was Carl's Jr. though. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But I like Yeah, but I like Burger King. Carl Jr. I don't even I I I actually can't even understand that because it's Hardies to me. >> Yeah. >> Here's a DM to Lil Pump. >> Okay. >> Really? >> Why are you called that? >> It's a very good question. >> It's a good question. No, we don't know for sure. I mean, it could be I mean, look, we all have an idea in our head. It's probably sexual in nature. >> Yeah. Or >> But it could be hand soap. >> I mean, you'd hope it's hand soap >> or sump pump like in the basic. >> Maybe he's very into bicycles. Maybe he's a >> fix or uh shoes. >> Yeah. pump. >> All right, here's here's the last one I'll read. This is to Subway. This, mind you, this is in 2019, so this is probably a lot funnier back then. >> All right, >> first DM is from us. Do you think that this is funny? Grow up. And then they said, "Do we think what is funny?" >> Whoa. >> And then we said, "I'm really not satisfied with this." What was it? A PR stunt and then it's just the news article for the Jared Focal thing. It's still kind of funny. >> And it says you cannot message this user anymore.