FAHIM WORKS ON STUFF

so like Disneyland is expanding I don't know if you guys read about that they're expanding they're building a wakanda land and like or Orange County residents aren't happy cuz they think their property value will go down they're like look I got nothing against the wakandans I'm sure they're great people just I bought my house and I you know they're selling purple drink I don't want my kids having that purple I know it helps I know it helps their health but I don't want my kid drinking that purple drink cars I'm cool with you know I think I found like a good rule of thumb on dating apps is that if it's too good to be true it's probably trans like hey I'm going to be in town for 3 Days I'd love to suck you off you're like whoa that's a bit forward like normally women don't do that it's cool how you don't have to insert credit cards into the machine anymore you just like tap it it's pretty cool can you believe it's like 2024 and we're still putting penises into vaginas you there should be tap to come at this point you just put your dick on the tummy and go he go right we're still sticking dicks and [ __ ] and moving it back and forth what year is this I I want tap to come tap to come you see commercials for it introducing tap to come tired of sticking your penis in a random hole tap a tummy uh oh yeah okay all right so I was downtown I was in Downtown LA and this homeless guy was like H do you have any money and then I was like I don't have any money and then I got into an elevator to to like eat at a rooftop restaurant so I felt like such a piece of [ __ ] like not only do I have enough money to eat at a restaurant I want to eat it in the sky cuz I like the vibe better than ground level I just have champagne they're like fim you look more solemn than you normally are I'm like a homeless guy asked me for money and it killed my vibe now I have to think about the inequality in the world he's down there oh I can't I'm going to be by the space heater just tell me tell me when he's gone I just felt like such a piece of [ __ ] I've noticed so I'm like I'm I'm getting older you know and like I've noticed like some younger women are into me now sometimes thanks thanks than I'm glad you're happy for me but it's weird though it's weird cuz then I don't know I don't know if they like me for me or if I'm like a fetish to them so it's like it's hard to tell like am I just feeling some sort of like category or so I have a test now the way to like weed them out this is what I do so like while we're having sex I'll say I'm proud of you and if she comes immediately I know she has daddy issues and it's not about me it could be any older guy I got a try I guess I'm surprised that they haven't done like they haven't done an Israeli and Palestinian episode of Family Feud you know like Muhammad and Ari get on up here name one thing people put on toast it's like you stole our land je it's like whoa what the [ __ ] we're going to cut to Commercial and that wasn't supposed to happen we did all of them yeah that's it man I guess guys guys come on all right we did I guess one more question then we'll leave we got to yeah uh have you kicked out anybody from a show after you kicked out my friend which friend which oh you remember uh this a while ago impr you did AEM works on stuff there it was like you're only one oh yeah yeah I remember that he was being a little extra though he was thank you cuz I'm a nice guy and I'm willing to play like if you've seen the works on stuff there's like this girl this this she's like yeah I'm super nice so if I if I bounce you you got to you've got to be like that was you like that wasn't dude that was so crazy she came to my show twice she came to one works on stuff and then you can hear in one of the videos where she like says some [ __ ] I forgot what about so she came to the second one and then the most annoying thing is when an audience member is a piece of [ __ ] and then I have to I have to roll with it and then they were pieces of [ __ ] and then they left they didn't even stick around for the whole show they they heckled and I didn't even like tear into her or anything they came to be pieces of [ __ ] and then they both left together I have a question you say in your dad that chick was so wild so how's your friend doing is he better is he was how did he handle it was he like I love him why did he K me out it was a misunderstanding that's the last time I took him to a show oh okay all right well he probably wasn't a big fan so it doesn't matter like I I I work on stuff and obviously comedy subjective so it's not going to be for everyone so I don't I told him but he decided to like do a little like stuff in the back it was so funny though was like it was like 2 minutes before the show was over yeah yeah yeah and I still had to bounce this bounce this guy with like 2 minutes left like I couldn't yeah well tell him hello you're going to spin this like so fem was asking about you he was doing his jokes and then he saw me in the crowd and he was like I feel really bad about kicking you out he said come back to more shows and ruin them take a selfie video for him yeah a cameo hey guys cameo so weird to me like I would get them sometimes and I just I can't believe anybody wants a video from me to be like hey Brad happy birthday dude yo 42 that's crazy for like $10 like what am I doing I don't hey Melissa heard you're a big man um here's my face like I would do it for free but I would do I would donate to charity I would cuz I don't want that money so I would donate all the money from Cameo to charity but then just became too much of a thing where I'm I have a lot of stuff to do I'm writing for things I'm making videos and a [ __ ] I have to tell Chad happy birthday and then I don't like the lighting and I'm like this is just a video to somebody and I'm like hey what's up no that's not a good take hey man no I don't like hey man either I'm trying to perfect this 30C birthday video like I'm a director all right is that it do we got to do we got to go or we have a few more minutes this is kind of more minutes go more yeah go more all right hour no not another not another hour it's too much how good's your moonwalk how good is it how good there's plenty of footage of me doing it this guy come on does Rambo have a machine gun like that's a saying that doesn't does Rambo have a machine gun you've heard of that folksy saying I don't need to tell you but does Rambo have a machine gun he does are you going back on Dr Phil I don't know you know what so funny so I mean I've don't Adam forever we're boys he's another standup and then uh he I I I did that moonwalking thing on the bad friends when they were on and and then I was in Seattle visiting my parents and then Adam called me up he's like yo I'm doing it for Netflix uh can you can you like do the same thing he's like moonwalk and the real Doctor Phil's here and I'm like I'm in Seattle he's like I'll fly you first class so I'm like H okay I guess so then I'm like Mom I have to go moonwalk Mom I love you I packed my bag I have to go to Hollywood and moonwalk for 10 seconds wish me luck can you put some biscuits in a cloth for my Journeys I literally flew did the thing I moonwalked and then I flew back to Seattle the next day and then I was back home for a week it felt like a dream I'm like I'm like all right let's moonwalk where's my check thank you [Applause] life is so weird I've been doing stand up for so long and like some dumbass [ __ ] like hey I saw you moonl like people know you from that like I've been doing stand up for so long people like he you you moonwalk you're the guy who Moonwalks like I guess I guess yeah but it was fun it was fun to do I haven't watched it cuz I was there you know is it okay I don't know yeah all right I like the bad friends version better I feel like I I killed it better better there yeah yeah yeah I pushed it I pushed the moonwalk that's the I threw a little mime into there you guys should Elevate the stage cuz you can't see my feet so let's I have a butt like just moonwalk The Comedy Store Hemes money so you can see me moonwalk mo shoes yeah all right anybody else and then we got to go what the penguin impression I did it earlier tonight you want guys it's so funny I'm trying to do ideas and stuff but all you guys really want you're like moonwalking do the do the penguin all these tful ideas that you're trying to moonwalk and go my beautiful man I get you anything you want you go full [ __ ] in my career I got to turn this brain off this brain is [ __ ] holding me back madis Square Garden yeah people are outside trying to get in like is he doing it he's doing the penguin moonwalk I'm trying to get in 300 people died at madis Square Garden trying to get in to see fem do the penguin [Music] moonwalk and then I'm like thank you good night and I'm in the wings and I'm waiting for the Encore they go Encore you know the show is over I'm like [ __ ] Taylor Swift big just from doing that I've been following him across the country do penguin moonwalk it's a three-hour show for some reason it seems long for what it is I love it what's the plan for Lance I don't know you know he does some sets every now and then so yeah check out the YouTube maybe he'll post some stuff yeah I'm like winded [ __ ] can you believe that was like zero training and I just I didn't practice that at all that was just feeling it imagine if I had like a few months to [Music] prepare all right did we do it we did it guys thank you for commenting every mind I can't do the show without you guys this means so much to me