TonyTalk (Uncut, Remastered)

blob talk radio what are you here what do you say uh this is gonna be a quick mic check hello there's a chatroom on our board talk radio hello thank you mississippi mike shut up tony's toilet and uh now mike hunt i am the king before talk video and i apologize to everybody i apologize to everybody because hang on i apologize to everybody for uh not having my uh my show up and ready to go yeah i had some cinema [ __ ] part of me today but it's fine it's fine before we start the show with tony chi the original gangster that's me i just want to remind everybody that the following people are banned uh and uh those are the people that have been and uh [ __ ] ass don't call me a racist and uh i'm not racist for banning dc2 he knows what he did and he's not hitting them uh because he took god his uh buddy jay bosar during everything that happened and now i'm mad at him and i don't want to be calling him anymore and uh that's it that's it i also want to ask you no condolences to ash's cat has lost that's uh lost the cat this weekend i believe and i know uh i know it's like i know what it's like to um i know what it's like to lose a pet and uh i'm sorry right over rainbow bridge [Music] i'll show i would like to uh i will i would like to say that um um that's my thinking i want to say that i uh we're just looking into the show i had a bad day that's why i i i i couldn't deal with the stupid stuff i had a bad day i uh i ended up going into um he was going to a store today i got some food or whatever and they saw this chinese girl this chinese girl was there what the [ __ ] was this computer needs to [ __ ] get out of here there's a chinese girl dude and um and uh you know she was like i can help you find anything i was short no it's fine you know whatever whatever and uh you young girl she was like maybe thirty something like that uh something like that you know and she said to me uh she was just okay i'm gonna go outside and uh smoke a cigarette yeah i said go okay take crazy she was like god i'm not a schweinsteiger you know i just want to know if you want to give me company i said yeah yeah you know should i go out there yeah she gave me a cigarette a cigarette and i say i smoked it it's not a [ __ ] story suck it into that friend and uh anyway i i i didn't i didn't even hear it because i like to smoke but i was just trying to be nice and uh you know and uh yeah so we talked a little bit and uh yeah so i said to her hey uh would you don't like my number you know i could talk a little bit more she said no thanks i got a boyfriend she said no thanks i got a boyfriend and i was like okay i should do a oh what the [ __ ] was this offer having me come out here you know you're a nice guy you're a nice guy you remind me of my father huh you know what the [ __ ] are you talking about you're not your father so there i go thinking i'm gonna be uh you know getting a little suck job later that night and uh no apparently i'm not getting not getting it so that was it now she ever decides to say hello to me again i'm not gonna talk to her i'm not gonna talk and uh that's it her loss her loss she can go [ __ ] another guy or something yep anyway now i'm gonna get to the email numbers2675210181 press one speak to me and uh we're gonna talk i gotta one of my listeners here uh he wants to remain anonymous but he wants to remember anonymous i'm not gonna say his name says hello anonymous email he says hello uncle tony i like to keep this email anonymous but i have an unfortunate situation going on with my relationship apparently my girlfriend broke up with me over the sound of my voice shortly after we have met when we have been dating long distance online for about a few years that's why you went wrong apparently according to her she didn't like the way i sounded and she said she only liked men with certain sounding voice i loved that woman dear i loved that woman daily uncle tony what do i do should i try my hand and convince her or should i just leave her i met my wit son uncle tony your friend your fan bradley well rightly well you want to throw this yeah first off you already had uh you already ended up having uh along this situation where those things don't work unless you're in the army or the military or unless you're doing uh stuff you know yeah you can't uh you can't do that you can't you know it's you know like you know you're like your voice she knew you were she was probably getting a side kick while you guys were in a long distance relationship you like your voice listen to me she wants uh it doesn't like yo let me tell you something let me tell you something let me get closer here's what i would have said to her how i said hey you know you know like you know i'm on the [ __ ] radio [ __ ] ass you can't smell my heart you son of a [ __ ] anyway um so uh yeah i mean you can't uh you can't do that you know what i mean you can't you can't do it yeah hey you like my voice get the [ __ ] out of you go find somebody that will like your voice it's like me have a very distinct voice some people say it's high pitched some people say it's real manly most of the women that i talk to they say i love your voice tony it's the truth i make people wet when i sing i don't know why it's just something i can do i've had people uh tell me these things you know and into that friend i don't sound ah like a [ __ ] uh who you said that's it um but all right now it's because have you ever had somebody that didn't like something about you whether it was your voice or something call in we'll talk about it don't worry i won't play music for a half an hour four four three i can't believe that i don't like your voice i dared you online the [ __ ] out of you four foot three four four three what are you here what are you hello hey tony baby how's it going okay how are you doing shall we oh it's a technical difficulty my apologies but um unfortunately i asked to confront me about something um and i've been doing this real for a few years we're married and we're doing well but uh i've been having some issues yeah yeah what i just said i've been in the school for a few years you're we're married it's just there's a few issues that i want to bring up to that that it says need your help with so me and this girl we we have a daughter right and she goes to school in uh massachusetts now mom was said somebody touched her on the bus was that you no i don't think somebody touched my daughter on the bus was that you you fat [ __ ] no [ __ ] i don't touch people ah i don't want to be uh ah [ __ ] you [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] you you shut him up it's still call my son about warrior you call it him gloria [ __ ] you one shadow four one zero what are you here what do you say go ahead uh yes i can confirm that that is true you are doing impressions of me and uh no i'm not shut him a [ __ ] yes you are i didn't touch anybody no i was such a kid yes you don't you [ __ ] no i stopped tonight and uh this show you know this guy is having a hard time here but bradley is having a hard time and nobody wants to help him out i want you to call in here and pretend to be me 909 what do you hear what do you say uncle tony you tried to get rid of me but you could never get rid of me you fat italian [ __ ] i don't know who the [ __ ] this is get rid of you what are you watching oh you know who this is i've been gone for three months but i'm back guess who it is [ __ ] i don't know who the [ __ ] it is you don't know who the [ __ ] i am do you know who the [ __ ] i am obviously i do but you got [ __ ] [ __ ] up your ass it's tony's toilet [ __ ] i'm back no you are not a toilet and i i am your [ __ ] toilet yo shut him up [ __ ] no you tried to kill me you beat me with the bat back in june and i [ __ ] disappeared but you didn't destroy me i'm back as an eye toilet and i know everything you've been pooping on garbage that's true tony trying to take a [ __ ] on me right now no and i have a warning for you tony watch your ass because i'm coming to get you [ __ ] and mike tony has a vagina and a penis no i don't i have a dick and it's big and don't call my shirt [ __ ] no small and it's introvert inverted it's even that chinese lady said even for asians it's half the size is what it is it's supposed to know that she had the freaking she didn't even know where to start i saw the whole thing [ __ ] shut him up get up out of here with the [ __ ] noises in the background uh four one nine you are coming up next have you ever had anybody that uh that didn't like something about you in a relationship 419 what do you hear what do you say go ahead this is his majesty self.king i i have two years ago i was dating this woman huh well i wasn't really dating her the first date see i was in the dance classes with her as a kid and we met back up i saw her and i talked to her we went on a date she came back to my house but you know i got i got a picture of myself i had a like a professional picture done of me performing and she said oh my god what is that i said that's me she walked out she called me a pig picture no do you know uh do you know miracle crow crop the professional fighter well i saw a picture of him when he was younger he was doing the side splits on two roman pillars of me doing that but i was sucking myself at the same time she didn't like this about you yeah she called me a yeah she said it was nasty i called her nasty i said i don't need a woman to suck me off i can do it probably better than she could said you got to have a personality if you want to be with me and you don't kick your ass out you're not going to [ __ ] toss me for that [ __ ] that's why i don't have a girl i just kick him out the moment i know it's not going to work okay wow these women yeah go ahead that's that's good i mean she didn't like [ __ ] that that about you that you like to suck yourself off and uh she uh and you said no get out of here i'm not changing for you that's good actually came out i kicked that [ __ ] out these women they think just because they have a [ __ ] that they can do whatever they want like that there were something it's the most addicting drug in the world is that [ __ ] [ __ ] that's gets you people in trouble it breaks up families and it makes you broke yeah [ __ ] your [ __ ] with your bad it [ __ ] with your back you know you know these japs from japan you don't even need women anymore no don't shake chaps why did what's your japanese no what is with the asian hate on my show you guys say chinks and chaps like it's like it's just something that you say you can't say that you can't say that well [ __ ] is just short for japanese like we're called americans we're not called united states of americans [ __ ] is a racial slur jeff isn't well i need to look more into that because uh you just just say japanese okay well these japanese they make these they're called ona holds toys but you stick your dick in them and i heard that they're like they're better than the real thing so i mean i don't you said it a few shows ago all that women are good for is cooking cleaning being barefoot and pregnant like if they couldn't bear kids if we didn't need them for that and we wouldn't need them at all yeah i was i was upset i had my heart broken i mean i'm upset today everything in my heart broken i got my hopes crushed because i thought i was going to get a ball job okay you know you just know when a girl talks to you and she wants to suck you off you know and uh i thought i was gonna get water so i didn't get one that's fine you know you've been doing the show for what three years now and yet you've gone through so much and you still just keep coming back you are a warrior i am thank you i'm glad you recognize it i'm glad you recognize it because no you just start calling yourself tony warrior a warrior gaga i like i like that one maybe i might have to because i i know i am one it's just the way it is people just mama you know you remind me of rocky machiano you get hit and you don't go down and i don't know how you do it and that i'm emotional because you're a warrior you're a [ __ ] warrior tony i am thank you before i hang up i just want to ask last week you mentioned you gained some weight i wonder you know that picture we have of you the only one we have like is that 40 pounds on top of that picture or did you lose weight from that picture and then gain some back uh the weight that i gained is muscle right now so i'm looking kind of weight i do some dumbbell work i do some some dumbbell work at the house you do squats ah yeah i do i had a lot of stairs it's good you know that 40 pounds or whatever it's probably mostly muscle anyways so it's all right yeah you could tell i i work out i got people to ask me that sometimes i go hey you know you're like you walk out you're a big guy i say yeah i do you know you're gonna try to keep gaining yeah i i i don't know i don't know but i might i might just try to rip it all up you know when i was younger i had axe you know uh bob sapp the professional fighter he was 350 pounds with abs i i have to look him up his name's bob shad bob sapp s-a-p-p he he's an afro-american but he's bald he used to throw a bunch of fights yeah he was good when he tried but he stopped well before people have a [ __ ] stroke i'm going to have to answer some other calls self-sucking and i yeah say you're calling in and uh i'm going to put you on you and i hope you enjoy the rest of the show thanks take it easy tony warrior thank you thank you and you you you don't change for nobody even if you're a little uh awkward just don't die don't change for nobody good car good car nine shower nine what are you here what do you say yes this is uh tony yeah what do you hear what are you saying how you do i call today because i hear a person uh where i'd like a person don't like the voice if she was outlined she would have known his voice so what is the problem with that beach don't know it just sounds like she was a jerk and uh she probably actually liked the guy and then was like oh i gotta find out something i don't like about him because i'm she was probably screwing her out while she was away long distance yeah because i would have took her to crystal lake and i would have chopped her head off and dug it in the dirt means you are a psychotic murderer and i'm hanging up on you thanks for calling ready 269 269 what do you hear what do you say hello tony god bless this is past reveal how are you first of all i'm glad you called in uh because last week when i yelled at someone uh i said something not very nice and then you were on the line and i apologize and now i'm glad i got to speak to you uh well i'm not screaming at somebody amen amen yes it was in front of children because i mean i made that mistake it was the 9 11 special we we thought it was going to be about the victims and you know learning about 9 11 but unfortunately there was a lot of discussion of racial slurs yeah that wasn't me that was my uh some some people that called it they say bad words they type uh they type things in the in the chat room that nice amen amen well i i forgive you tony and you know i i have a lot of experience with uh relationship advice and i could i could give my opinion on this one then i have to ask you your opinion because you're a love guru on a couple that came into my church the other day if that's all right with you yeah sure absolutely absolutely all right fantastic well uh my advice to this anonymous individual is that if the woman doesn't like you for your voice and that's such a trivial thing then why would she like you for your personality too it just sounds like you dodged a bullet there you can really roll down the window of your car hear the wind pass that's the bullet you just dodged i mean i i also don't recommend dating online you don't know if you're going to get catfished and unfortunately a lot of people who need to touch grass date online and not in the local area and i just think that it's unfortunate yeah i don't do uh i don't do online stuff last time i did they they they put me up to the match.com and uh they they matched me up with this woman and local woman and um i ended up meeting her she looked like she did in a picture and um i went over there she had on she was just really overweight she was she wasn't sure what was that was it madeline mitten by any chance no i never [ __ ] madeline and she was sh she ever gets in touch with me again i'm literally going to get a [ __ ] restraining order on her i still got emails i had to block all her emails because she used to send me pictures of her holding up her fat [ __ ] stomach and a [ __ ] look like wings of a [ __ ] raw chicken it was disgusting it was disgusting that's terrible tony i'm i'm so sorry you had to deal with that but you know online dating just isn't isn't for people i i think it's bad but anyways i i need to um bring up this couple i've been having issues with and i need to ask your advice for this um this couple came in they've been married for about a year and they they seem like a loving couple i i've done a lot of cookouts with them in valencia california where i am um but unfortunately the woman told me that the husband is uh not very good at kissing and the husband agreed that the wife wasn't very good at kissing so what recommendation do you have here good question not good at kissing ah what i would do is i would uh you know let me only question my i'd say question you don't like the way i kiss and i like the way you kiss let's get better together baby and then you figure it out amen oh continue tony i'm sorry is practice you practice you watch movies not porn cause poor nail kissed like that yeah sticking a tongue in there who's grabbing each other's crotch yeah shoving [ __ ] things in their mouth and spitting on dicks and all that stuff inside their mouths now you're gonna watch like good movies like like romantic movies and that's where you learn and don't don't don't just don't put tongue in the mouth you know what i mean yeah just don't do that so just don't do that amen because one of the reasons the guy said that his wife was bad at kissing was he he would use a bit too much tongue in his words i know it sounds a bit weird but she would throw up in his mouth and he swallowed it one time is that fantastic that's disgusting and i just gagged because i've had a woman do that to me you had a woman vomit in your mouth she vomited in my mouth it got in my my goatee it got all over my chains it got inside my my [ __ ] shirt my brand new shirt i bought they were all over my lap all over my khaki pants i had these really nice cream pants that i would wear with a royal blue ah that turtleneck and [ __ ] brand [ __ ] no brand new oh hang on tony oh that's disgusting he said that you know she projectile vomited into her mouth that he was just he made the noise he's like she went like into my mouth and oh man i just i just can't believe that happened to you ah it's disgusting i got i gotta throw up okay have a good night thank you for your call i'm not gonna listen to him puke good call pastor veal thank you for calling in but that was i don't wanna what do you hear what do you say [ __ ] idiot i'm trying to do a show and yeah he's [ __ ] mouth breathing in the phone [ __ ] idiot waste my [ __ ] time 667 what do you hear what do you say hello is this tony you i almost hung up on you because you sounded like you were shoving something inside of your body go ahead hey i just want to say uh you know just help the future tony he he is real tony and uh this is black to me so [ __ ] you [ __ ] get out of here you son of a [ __ ] thank you for not [ __ ] 617 and i there is no future tony there's no future tony 909 what do you hear what do you say rude tony you hung up on me a few minutes ago you're rude you'll pretend to be a toilet you'll make fun of me you make sure that you're taking a [ __ ] on me background and you are not excited no more y'all what do you hear what do you say [Music] [Music] fred hendrickson what what okay i'm shopping what did you say my [ __ ] dave is clay douglas get that out of your ass you hear me you [ __ ] italian well my [ __ ] name is tony gaga do you hear me you well my name is clay douglas i don't give a [ __ ] get the [ __ ] out of here rude son of a [ __ ] one one one what do you hear what do you say face on this mississippi mike how are you i'm doing well how how are your mission shipping making i'm i'm doing good uh i i just have some advice for that guy who sent that email and that is dump that [ __ ] if you haven't already and leave it cold you know plenty of fish in the sea right i mean yeah that's uh that's about it yeah just just go ahead and move on she don't like you and that's it now you're good hey man and i mean i i have some experience in in looking for girls you know self talk king he did the right thing when he found out that girl wasn't into his you know performance talk right you know we all got performance out there that chicks wanna either dig or don't dig it took me five years to find somebody who was in the alabama hot pocketing and i feel like i heard about this before well i i don't i don't know if you have but it's when you take a [ __ ] in a dildo and and you shove it up oh no that's an elastic pipeline a hot pocket is just when you [ __ ] in someone's vagina and uh you use the [ __ ] to lube have you ever tried that no get the [ __ ] out of here young city hey don't hang up i'll be bastard don't hang up why try to hang up on me and [ __ ] that i don't want to talk to you you praying [ __ ] and i don't want to talk to you your son i'm a [ __ ] thank you very much i'm taking a musical bike and um that's uh that's that i'm taking a musical break i will be right back and trying to see i'm gonna play forever not more than a question we'll play forever be right back [Music] to sit here all alone don't know why i'm alone all i know is i have a set of blue balls i need my balls drained i'm going to go to the blow job room i said johnny long service blow job room i'll say it again i said johnny rico [Music] [Music] um wasn't the song that i wanted to play i wanted to play forever and it says forever and that's not that is not the song i clicked on forever i got rid of that stupid [ __ ] song forever [Music] okay more than a crush [Music] i'm not disturbing the music this isn't the music you're supposed to be on my show write the [ __ ] now do you understand it's not the music that's supposed to be on my show right now tony talk intro ladies um shut up it's not funny that my song is uh my songs are disappearing human nature why why it's human nature [Music] ladies and gentlemen here across the nation [Music] yes [Music] lord have mercy [Music] there's a problem with my recordings and it's not funny um monster mesh for my very first halloween episode monster mash ladies and gentlemen mr jessica baby what do you say [Music] good evening dr tony this is dr peter paul ventura from imperial beach california how are you i am not happy because my songs disappeared ah dr peter paul well the uh it's great to hear you it's great to hear your voice and uh uh you know we need to celebrate uh because a lot of people are not allowed to uh even play songs at this time in their lives but uh you know they can't play songs they can't listen to songs and uh one thing that i wanted to tell you is the speaking of songs is that i'm uh i've been licensed to be a camp director and uh i played some of your songs and i could say uh the sprinklers went off and i got a lot lots and lots of lots of young teenage girls wet uh while listening to your music uh they were nice and moist and uh no no no no no no please please dr dr please can't you see if my song will play i all my music has been gone hang on doctor please and don't mention teenagers uh hang on what what i love teenagers we all love teenagers everybody loves teenagers they're wonderful i'm nervous right now exciting precious soft moist oh my god anyway as a camp director say that on the show absolutely what what where's my music none of it shawn here no more thriller i i played twilight heaviness why they labeled with these things and they don't uh i don't feel good blizzard mr salto manila yes [Music] [Applause] the beginning of september all my songs are gone that's not my song all my songs are gone [Music] where are my sharks cool cat tony cool cat tony here we go seven five shopping seven five seven what do you hear what do you say seven five seven that's lost hero uh hello hello did he hear me i hit the wrong number no you two you then i got the wrong number i got something very important to tell you apparently a contract has been signed toward now now nintendo owns your face all right to your well-being to your face and we can now legally put your game on super gagario brothers 69. [ __ ] you fat ass you're now our [ __ ] no i'm not your [ __ ] you shut him a [ __ ] [ __ ] you yes you are we're gonna oh what what the [Music] [Applause] get the [ __ ] out of here where is my music i want my music where's the uh i have the joe gibson song on here that's what i got to go gibson's song [Music] speed it up i know you want to in my hands so i want to know how my music got lost with all the stupid music what post my own song the goodbye song yep i got it ladies and gentlemen mr jessica baby in the baby i'll see us next week i'll see you next week