EWW CinemaSins

anonymous source provided this video sony one minute and nine seconds of flash decoration if i could last this long my college ex-girlfriend molly wouldn't have left me for some dude named anthony that [ __ ] spider-man's name is peter parker [Music] hey i didn't know emma sulkewoods was in this movie looks like she ate the mattress this time though no no we cannot go to my house what i thought you said your dad really liked me okay now hold on in the last movie it was already established that her dad didn't like nathan drake here but he's already been arrested and is now in jail trying to recruit morbius what's up doc see dude [Music] six dudes as my college ex-girlfriend told me four or more means it's a train let's talk about this screenshot best sandwiches in queens first of all spider-man takes place in the bronx so this is already inaccurate but where are the sandwiches this is clearly a dispensary i mean look at all these flowers and to top it off there are two signs here that contradict each other one says no atm and the other says atm which is it movie is their ass to mouth here or not it just feels so dumb i didn't realize you were miserable it was really fun that's right you know that's why they call it a fling this tomaze for some time this proves that dc fans will laugh at anything this is like the third straight movie where tom holland is caught in his underwear with a woman one two three [ __ ] as old is what i'm saying come up with some new material snyder spider-man aka the webb-headed war criminal who for years has been terrorizing the decent citizens of new york does he also make the frogs gay well look nick fury was there the entire time just ask him and he can explain everything nick fury has been off planet for the last year what no i agree we watched an entire movie where nick fury was a huge part of it and i know some joker in the comments section is going to point out that this wasn't really nick fury but riddle me this so sorry to keep you waiting can we get ned a snack please get him a snack that's hilarious but still sexist sudden kathy bates well i have some good news peter and i have some bad news i don't know who the [ __ ] you are why is it in the third dc spider-man movie do they just randomly throw in a deaf dude how did you just do that he's evil knievel duh you can't afford a paramount plus subscription i knew peter was broke but damn in case you confused it with long penis you think i'm being too pragmatic no no no no well skip peter parker go get him tiger ignoring for the moment that betty brant is stealing mary jane's line where the hell is the dude that used to report with her you know the guy that got cut in half and elite a battle angel that's racist midtown high where we shape heroes stop it it's an honor to serve you sir not this improvs for some time yes my spider lord whip first one's here god damn she's i mean uh aunt may isn't my aunt in this scene and i'm from tennessee so you know how we look at ants down here wow so michelle works at a donut shop huh this takes me back reminds me of the time my college ex-girlfriend and i opened up a bakery back in 1986. it was called panty waste we saved a lot of money using her yeast and smegma for the baked goods we didn't last long but the donuts are pretty good bit sour though i told you to take down the halloween decorations actually that was sasha so enough attitude just do it that's racist and sexist and transphobic in light of recent controversy we are unable to consider your application at this time let's talk about mit's plan they see some obviously doctored footage of peter ordering the slaughter of people in london fine somehow they totally forget that peter parker saved half the universe when he helped kill dark seed and pillory him for apparently and randomly killing one dude stupid but also fine they then decided not to admit wimpy and olive oil here because if you're friends with a murderer you're also bad i thought mit was full of smart people [Music] door opens by itself because it knows you want to change the past cliche try not to slip we don't have liability insurance why in the hell is wang introducing himself here don't we already know who he is didn't we just see him in the eternals [Music] see the director made ben tennison comes on backs hold this for fox sake mug because he thought it would make him look like an even bigger [ __ ] than he already does with this tony stark goatee i'm really sorry to bother you sir but please say to have the universe together i think we're beyond you calling me sir cool cool but is anyone interested in explaining this white substance that's encrusting everything i mean we're just going to completely ignore it as if it isn't even there the movie doesn't explain this at all the runes of kafka the rules of cough call oh it's just a standard spell of forgetting that spell travels the dark borders between known and unknown reality it's too dangerous do you remember the full moon party at kamertage oh exactly strange watched a lot of cosby growing up i gotta say with the sitar music the beatnik beard and strange clearly rolling a doobie this movie is a lot more california than it wants to admit ghostwire tokyo colors for getting memories excitement but if they rejected you and you tried to convince them to reconsider there's nothing else you can do you mean like i could have called them yeah i could do that i'm sorry you didn't even think to plead your case with him first before you asked me to brainwash the entire world i really don't get strange's anger here he just stated there's nothing else you could do even after literally doing magic proving there is something else he could do at the end of this film he literally does exactly that anyway so why isn't he wearing the jacket he was just wearing two seconds ago okay perfect where is she she left flash plays the verb game so that peter has to ask where the hell she went i'm confused why the heck does pete not wear this costume all the time it's clearly better than the one that currently looks like a jackson pollock painting what with the mechanical arms the ability to retract into nothingness and the armor why doesn't he wear this suit all the time hello peter why do we do i know you gen z's reaction makes it into the script okay so the movie suggested alfred molina was taken from his universe right before he was going to die trying to stop this machine from lana rhodes in new york city that means the dc eu is trying to say he looked like this the last time we saw him but here's what he actually looked like back then so the sin here is for the lack of attention to detail i mean he's wearing glasses fighting cgi tentacle porn excitement you're a hero i'm gonna talk to admissions about your friends and i'm gonna talk to them about you i really really really don't think that's how admissions work at mit first of all peter's from the bronx he's most likely a giants fan and mit only admits patriots fans currently second you also have to be asian which means only ned's getting in and even then he doesn't know how to play blackjack third and most importantly you need a decent suit and tie i mean why is he all wrinkly and what the hell happened to his tie does movie want to explain hey hey until you stop trying to kill me cool hologram and all but arm restraints activia what the heck does this have to do with yogurt i agree didn't this guy get dp'd in the first spider-man film how is he back what type of sorcery is going on here that little spell that you botched where you wanted everyone to forget the peter parker spider-man it started pulling in everyone who knows peter parker's spider-man from every universe and at this one that makes about as much sense as this video the multiverse is real yeah there's a movie coming out about it haven't you seen the trailers it stars the guy standing right in front of you hey what did you just do this oh get on your phones scour the internet and scooby doo this [ __ ] language uh i'm sorry what was your name again dr otto octavius [Laughter] that's racist i mean you can take the guy out of the chair but you can't take the chair out of the guy oh i beg to disagree it just takes a little bit more lube than usual just like they do with star wars disney made up a weird reason for spider-man to wear his suit inside out so they could sell more toys like the single thing is the single thing happening is your tingle tingling come on disney you're better than this dick jokes really so what y'all just gonna stand here and act like i ain't butt ass naked i guess you must have the lbc conus wait you know this creature no no no no no not a creature a man scientist at oscorp when i worked there until he turned himself into a lizard then he tried to turn the whole city in the lizards it was crazy electro's position for the what two people watching this movie that have no idea what's going on or who these characters are it wasn't crazy max it was the next step in human evolution whoa the goomba can talk this is never explained in this movie and ascends a sin coward hiding in the shadows hiding from who you truly are oh this is not 2002 anymore treating mental illness as villainy look i know the suit is bad but calling the costume designer a villain is in poor taste unless those webs conduct electricity you didn't fix [ __ ] someone's living in my house oscar doesn't exist my son blah blah blah gas is now over six dollars we all got problems just schizo at least you're still rich i mean look at that balenciaga sweater you're wearing under that tweet overcoat try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole family and have some real problems stealing after a brief word from daily bugle supplements and we're up is the movie really saying that because he broke the spider-man as a murderer story he was able to move out of the birdman streaming set up into a legit studio no thanks i think she deserves a bit more than thanks we got two scenes of you scrubbing that [ __ ] suit with every chemical known to man and you weren't able to put so much as a dent in that paint i would give all the sins back if we got a scene of aunt may asking doctor strange to magic the paint off the suit because that's what it took to get that [ __ ] this clean um guys this is uh mr osborne's doctor mr doctor it's strange maybe who am i to judge it was all over the news green goblin impaled by the glider you flew around on if that were true what the [ __ ] was harry doing pissed off at toby man for two movies max do you know do i die that's a good question blue in fact that calls into question the entire plot of this movie there are three sets of criteria that allowed all of you to enter this universe the first is people that know peter parker is spider-man which means the shocker shouldn't be here because he never knew andrew garfield was spider-man the second is people that were about to die during their fight with spider-man which means dust bunny and godziki shouldn't be here because they never died hence the question and the third is money what is that it's an ancient relic the mackinac dicadavis a literal ex machina seems like something you could have used against the purple chinen also the makadekadapus all right check this out first of all you're throwing too many big words at me because i don't understand them i'm going to take them as disrespect watch your mouth and help me with the spell some of these guys are going to die parker it's their fate but hasn't their fate changed at this point though i mean since they've entered a new universe doesn't that mean their disposition has changed too i watched those other movies and they never mentioned other spider-man or doctor strange or a black mary jane so this movie is a liar four minutes of boring ripoff inception cgi where we all know who's going to win because this movie isn't titled doctor strange no way home i mean kaleidoscope mirrors things let's talk about peter's plan he decides to bring a gaggle of villains to his hot aunt's apartment one of them literally sporting tentacles hasn't he seen literally anything on hentai haven now hold the hell on movie when did peter's suit change why are all these guys in this apartment and why aren't they all attacking him the movie just skips to this with literally no explanation we don't need you to save us we don't need to be fixed cats [Applause] another boring same versus same jeez marvel you'd have thought you were done with this when you had batman fighting superman but seriously dude it's time to return to formula listen you listen to me you have power and with great power there must also come great skip which happens aunts die no need to be a [ __ ] about it i just wish we could see peter [Music] [Applause] am i supposed to be impressed with this i don't carry an id with me you know kind of defeats the whole anonymous superhero thing why'd you do that he would have dodged if they were popeye's biscuits zenday day you know because they're actually harmful you should know this i mean aren't you black crawl around crawl around yes no yes crawl around this spider's on for some time i'm just gonna get to the part we've all been waiting for hello no not this one here we go nobody cares about those other spider wannabes i lost gwen my um she was my mj gwen was not your mj gwen was your gwen this was your mj thank god this never happened holy [ __ ] some point i just i stopped pulling my punches murder why it's 3us that's racist peter yeah oh sorry sorry do you mean peter peter peter peter parker that came out of you yeah you can't do that huh no how on earth does that even peter 3 brings up a good point here how on earth does that work it's something the rainy films have never addressed and is a glaring issue with the original series i mean if peter 2 is wearing his suit under his clothing then how the hell are his arms exposed here you know max was like the sweetest guy ever before he fell into a pool of electric eels yeah but you weren't even there when that happened is there some mark webb cut of the amazing spider-man 2 out there that we don't know about how the f do you have this knowledge peter 3 [Music] oh there it goes toby mcguire is old cliche you want me to crack it yeah yeah that'd be great all right you never had a web block but i i did actually you said that i was like oh i had a web vlog wait wait why would a spider-man who doesn't produce organic webbing ask a spider-man that does if he has had a web block why would he even know that's a thing considering he just found out peter 2 can do this you all better watch peter 3 along with knowing about the eels this [ __ ] is omniscient i i fought a an alien made out of black goo once i found alien too on earth and in space oh i'm lame compare like i fought a russian guy in a like a rhinoceros machine see he knows everything how does he know he fought a russian guy in a rhino machine uh just fyi desert guy's here too guys come check hello ah the dceu where every superhero magically has comms in their suit the sin here is that tony stark is dead so where did these guys get coms toby and andrew never had nor needed comms in their movies and tom has been cut off from all stark tech so where the heck did they get swingy talkies [Music] sorry gross gross you're the one that ejaculates webs you mean to tell me you've never tasted your own before noob so uh is anyone going to tell this guy the location of a knock sooner moon [Music] this movie [ __ ] rocks [Music] there you go did i have a stroke or something since when does squid dds here help the heroes the movie just blatantly skips over this change of heart [Music] so peter 1 sees the plan has been working for all the other villains and he knows they have a cure for the emerald elf so why is the sun out right now it was literally night a second ago that would be cool if it didn't look fake as [ __ ] i may have struck the blow but you you are the one that killed her will smith oh these are jokes come on [Music] with the kid watch your step you might fall trying to do what i did mama huh mama come closer in the middle of the girl with the rubber duck no