Foodie Beauty/Chantal Reactions

Hello tea cups. What's brewing? Welcome back to the channel. I hope you are all safe and well. I am safe and well at the moment in case anyone was concerned. A few things have been happening, but not affecting where I'm living right now. I am a little bit behind on Foodie as you may have noticed. Uh I know the highlights essentially um the accident on scooter that I didn't want to cover because I didn't want to talk about her feces for any longer than I had to. I was just so sick of it. It's been such a strong theme recently. The weird interaction with that woman that came to see her who clearly wants to be her best friend. And if the uh notice she put up saying how terrible Girl World is is anything to go by, which I I think it is. I think it was look, I'm I'm Shantal's biggest supporter. I live near by. Maybe we can be friends. That was the vibe I was getting for that. She'll live, she'll learn, or she won't. It is what it is, but I think she'd been around long enough to know what she was getting into when she did it. So, everyone gets to make their own choices. I am aware other things happened, but those two are the ones sticking out in my mind at the moment. So, today I've just got two sets of clips from Piggy. I've got the one where she uh says she's on Ozempic, and I've got the one where she takes Zoloft. So, we're just going to look at those today to get kind of back into things, and then we'll see where we go from here. No, this is where we are now. All right. Anyway, let's get started. Hi. Hold on. First things first. Hi Essie Lilly. SD. I got you to go. Genuinely, what is that? That looked creepy. Oh, yeah. Hey, Dylan. Okay, I need to spend $500 on medicine. So, I had a doctor's appointment at a virtual clinic. >> Is it Kick she goes on now? I know she gets it weekly, so did she just get her paycheck? She had been saying recently that oh, she went over her grocery budget and we've been hearing more about the money like it was just pressing on her a bit more. Should I be optimistic and say it was because she knew she was going to buy this or is this just a moment of oh, no, let's just do it. It was free, covered by Ohip. My appointment was at 1:00. I'm waiting and doing a [ __ ] video call. Sorry for my language. You don't see that often. >> 2:00 rolled around, nothing. I end the call. I make an appointment with another doctor online. 5 minutes later, he answers. You made an appointment and got online in 5 minutes. That seems sus. I mean, if it's just an online check to buy some Ozempic, probably that gets faster, but like a legit doctor, I don't think you'll get an appointment in 5 minutes. Then, I get an email from this clinic I've been waiting for uh to get a family doctor with and it's a Muslim doctor. And I have an appointment meet and greet tomorrow. So, Let's see if she goes to that. Oh, people might know already. I haven't seen any later things. Yeah, that's going to be good to have a family doctor. The family doctor is going to take one look at her and be like, what the hell? But maybe if she's actually got a family doctor, she can get more things covered now cuz I'm going to talk a little bit about the cost of this in a minute, but I don't quite understand how she's doing this. So, in the meantime, I use this doctor to get my medicines. So, I have Basaglar insulin. I feel at some point, I don't know if it was here or before, like I said, I'm a bit behind, sorry. Um, she had said she was going to have to talk to the doctor and say I've used a lot more insulin than I was meant to because of my eating. And I'm like, doesn't she have slow release insulin? I don't think that's how that's meant to work. Even when you don't have it, I don't think that's how that's meant to work. For those needles. And then I have What was that? Vic? Ozempic? That's what she was on before, right? Now, this is what I find interesting. We've had conversations before about her being on Ozempic, about her maybe getting the surgery, like lots of things she could do for more acute intervention. Now, surgery physically is far too dangerous for her. Like she she's got so many comorbidities, I don't think she'd survive it. But technology has come on and Ozempic and other injections are available. I myself take Wegovy, so I've got some experience with this. However, the issue she had is that she immediately went into drugs afterwards because she's got a lot of cross addiction issues. She always just needs more of whatever happens to fill that gap. So, I think we are going to see some things in the next week or so because this is going to drive her crazy. Not because it can't do her a lot of good, because she does need intervention and in a physical sense needs to lose weight quickly to be safer physically. But mentally, this is going to throw her for a loop. Oh, oh, oh, Ozempic. I use Ozempic and I got to pay out of pocket, but like two So, where's she getting the money for that, then? Like, I don't I don't get it. 250 a month. 250 a month is not bad. I know it's also cheaper in England than it is here. I take Wegovy and I have to pay 200 rial a pen, and a pen lasts me for 4 weeks. Cuz you get a pen and then you get four needle heads, so it's preloaded for four doses. I understand that cost can change depending on dosage. I don't quite know how the dosaging works for Ozempic, but it just happens to be quite expensive here. So, she got lucky in the fact that it's not as expensive where she is, but anything is really too expensive for her with how she lives. So, that's interesting. And then I have my inhaler cuz I'm not going to see Salah more than likely now. Mhm. So. That's another point as well. Like, she was waiting to see Salah because he bought her cheap meds. Her meds are quite expensive, and even if they weren't, she has a lot of them. So, those costs add up, and I don't think she's got the budget for that. So, maybe in her head when she's thinking of saving money, cuz this tends to be how she goes, she's gone, "Okay, I'll do Ozempic, and that means that the other things won't be as much. I'll eat out less because the Ozempic will be helping me, and I'll get off the other meds." That would be a fair thought if I thought she was capable of that, but I don't think she'll address any of the things she needs to use this effectively. $125. >> Wow. Yeah. How often does she need a new inhaler? Cuz seriously, if she's refusing to give up the food, I I don't see her being able to afford that at all. I'm going to try the Ozempic. So, I'm going to take that out of the equation. >> I mean, I think she will. She's in a position right now where all the stuff she used instead of food are also available to her, which is also dangerous cuz she used to just spend her days high. And we don't know how much the Ozempic will actually do for her because last time she combined it with cocaine. So, in terms of actual weight loss, yes, she lost weight, but which one was it? I don't know, we'll have to see. It'll be interesting anyway. The doctor had a coupon, but it was still 270. Are you in in Canada? I tried Ozempic a long time ago. Oh, it comes with needles, good. Yeah, you get a pen and then you get some needle heads in there and on mine there's a place inside to write the date and stuff that you take it. I forgot to take mine yesterday, I had to do it this morning. 0.25 So, she's starting low, which is normal. Going to be skinny? I don't know what she's expecting either cuz I've not been on Ozempic. Um I know I had to build up my dosage. You feel it a little, but with how her hunger cues are kind of messed up anyway, I don't know how long it's going to take to impact while she builds up. I did lose some weight, but I was also doing coke, so I don't know. Yeah. Happy mouse, because now in Ontario you have to be part of a program. You have to be under 24 or over 65. In between they don't cover it unless you're on the program. We don't have a program as such, but the NHS has those rules as well where when you're talking about completely free treatment, um it's if you meet certain conditions. If you're under a certain age, if you're over a certain age, if you are in school, if you're in receipt of certain benefits, things like that. Otherwise, there are charges involved with like prescriptions and stuff like that. And that does change depending on where you are in the UK as well. Wales is a little bit different, Scotland's a little bit different. >> And I don't qualify for the program, so I don't You have to stay on life. I I know. It's a long-term medicine, yeah. We'll see, we'll see what happens. But it did it made me feel very full. And then you would smoke weed counteract the effects. Yeah, and that's the problem. If you need the feeling of being overly stuffed for whatever reason, in whatever way and for whatever reason, you need to address that first. But I think I'm going to talk to the doctor about some kind of like I got to get psychiatric help because it doesn't fix your head hunger, I'm sure. But See, she says that and she says that because that's what we say to her all the time, and she's absolutely right, but I don't think we're going to see her do this. She might get referred, she might go for one visit, but she'll never make herself uncomfortable enough to get over that hurdle. As long as it makes me I'm always hungry, so as long as it helps with that That's the one thing, but again, long-term success I can't tell you, but she has the same thing that I felt I had when I intervened with mine, which was I didn't really have a stopping point. I always felt like I I wanted more food, and that's why like with the right hmm with the right process, this could be a thing for her. It's just whether I'm saying like, oh, she'll never do the process. You know, like yeah, there are options out there, but it's not a choice-free option. She's looking for a way that will mean she doesn't have to do anything because it will do it for her, but actually her responses to that are very difficult, and she doesn't want to deal with very difficult. And even if she does start to deal with it, it doesn't guarantee success, so she's got a lot of work to do, and that's the one thing she wants to avoid. See. You got to quit. God, how many medicines is she on? Like, that is a fair amount of money. The puffers alone, she's on two of those, right? Doo-doo. Let me just get a alcohol swabby swab. All right, let's try this out. Next time she says her medicines are none of your business, remember she did this on camera, okay? Sneezy, well, it's windy and snowy right now, yeah. Oh, they had a massive like ice storm. My friend in Montreal, she showed me her windows and they looked like they were frosted but she they're not. It was just the weather. Your dog has a stinky chicken. >> got like cancelled. What the hell? All right. I thought you couldn't show your body on camera, Chantel. Cover yourself. I am such a baby. I don't put the injection into my stomach. I um put it into my thigh. Even though it won't hurt and it's a small needle, I just something about it freaks me out. But again, I don't think you're meant to show us that, Chantel. If the Ozempic doesn't work or try Mounjaro. Yeah, I started Ozempic just now. Someone's making broccoli again. Are you sure that smell's not just you? Is it your head? Not really. Number one for weight loss is Zepbound. Yeah, the newer generation ones do a couple of things but anything could be helpful at this point. And maybe with her not having the ma Maybe that's ambitious. I was going to say maybe with her not having the money, it won't be as easy for her to fall into other crutches because she literally couldn't afford it but then I think of the fact that she's on her second or third bankruptcy and I'm like, "When has that ever stopped her?" Well, we'll see how this goes. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow again. No, you're seeing a new doctor for an intro session tomorrow. That's what you said. That's not the same thing. I do hope she gets a regular doctor cuz the way she's been dealing with it given the degree of her health concerns is ridiculous. So, I'll find out exactly about the dosing. Like she needs long-term care with someone. >> about the dose now. You're eating a lot at night on carbs and everything. Of course you're going to need more insulin, right? I have no idea but if that was the way it worked, surely they would just tell you, "Oh, just take it before you eat. You'll be fine." And given that I don't think they do that. I do. Like a physical doctor. Like I have to go in, know my role. On the side. Why are you hissing at people? Just making sure it still smells like deodorant. Oh, why are you like this? Why are you like this? All right. And then this one is the chocolate salad, I think. I feel like I kind of like ended it with Salah. I don't know if this was the same. Uh live or what have you. I'm just taking the clips at this point. So if you're following along that closely, sorry. And I I'm just sad. I interrupted that then. Sorry. She said that she kind of broke it off with Salah, but hang on because I got some questions. It's nothing he did. It's just life. I feel like I'm just like I can't My mental health can't handle Thank you. My mental health can't handle this long-distance relationship and like we're just so different culturally. Even if she were with a different person, I think she's right. I think she can't handle long distance because she's so paranoid about everything. She's so insecure. And she's got a history of cheating herself. And because she's got that history, of course she's going to believe that other people will do it to her. And it doesn't help that Salah has the history of of cheating or attempting to cheat, however you might define it. So I don't think it's good for her at all. However, Salah is now in the situation where things are raining down on Syria because of various events. So if there was ever a time to be a bit nicer to Shontelle and get yourself an out, now would be it. I said I realized Malaysia's not happening now, but and I know some people believed it was never going to happen, which is always a possibility cuz they both lie. But I did say before the fact that it was a month in Malaysia made me feel like maybe they they trying to do something with paperwork, be it an actual legal marriage or whatever it was to get some kind of process started. Like Sal would have wanted to get out of there, and he'd have much more immediate reason to do that. Now, long-term, like I said, it's a lot more problematic for him than it is for her because she can always go back to Canada, even if life is a little bit more difficult there for her in terms of money, which is her major concern, she's got a safe country to return to. The same cannot be said of him. But there's no way he's going anywhere right now, so I'm too insecure for it. Like We do not >> Based on everything from the past, I can't get really get over very much. I don't know. I feel like I do, but then it comes back. Like it it's responsible for my insecurity insecurities today. She's insecure even without that history, but that history gives her something to throw back in his face. And because she's got zero emotional regulation, she uses that a lot. She holds grudges. And I I get it. I get it, but it's not helpful to her. >> And it's like it kills me like not being able to see every single thing he's doing. That's a She has never trusted him. She knows he cheats. Yeah, she knows he cheats, but she also knows that she has cheated. So she knows exactly how this can work, and she knows there's nothing she can do about it. And she's already insecure about herself, you know? And who he's with. And I just feel like I'm so living in fear that like with the pressure of his family there, um and him built Without the pressure of his family there, he has got every reason to move on except the fact that things have gotten more dangerous recently, and he might have a way out with her, however long that is. But his family hate her. For the most part, his family hate her. Yes, a couple of them tolerated her when she was there because they're hospitable people, but his family are not a support for her. I think his life there and that he's like I feel like he's just going to inevitably inevitably like marry a cousin or something. And he he tells me no. I think there was no need to say a cousin there, but move on to someone who might be some kind of support in his life instead of a massive burden who he might see every day. Yes, I could see that happening. Oh, no. No. Um you know, uh it's not what I want, but I just don't [ __ ] believe it. And I don't want to be, you know, like I don't know. He's just always busy with his life there. Like I feel like he doesn't Yeah, it's his life. And from what she said, he's building some kind of business, whether that's true or not. So, that's going to be busy. And I don't know if you heard, but the Middle East is a little bit chaotic at the moment. Even when things were calmer, and calmer is relative, there were issues communicating back and forth because of blackouts and because of the internet and because of all those things. comes to the chat. You know, like I feel like he just he's so absorbed with his life there. And I just feel left out. >> She wants him on FaceTime 24/7. Yeah, she wants more attention. And she said recently that attention is her love language, basically. I'm paraphrasing it to something a bit nicer, but the most important thing to her is attention. And it's something she just can't expect from him 24/7 or anyone in a long-distance relationship. You've got time zone differences and you've got real life events going on. And even if they were in the same place, is it healthy to want 24/7 attention? No, of course it's not. You know. And like I don't want to be I don't want to be married to somebody where I have family issues with them. Like I Well, fortunately, you're not married. So, there we go. I don't want that, you know. It makes me feel bad about myself. And I just don't want it. You should feel bad about yourself. I think you should examine the feelings of why you feel bad about yourself, and you should reflect on what you could do to change it. I don't want anyone, even her, to feel bad about herself 24/7. I don't think anyone deserves that. But, I've talked before about the difference between being shamed and feeling ashamed because feeling shamed is up to the other person. Feeling ashamed is down to you realizing that things you've done are maybe not great. And she's made a lot of choices that I wouldn't be proud to make myself. That doesn't mean that she cares, but if we're talking personally, I mean milk tea, would not have done them. Now, people live different lives. It doesn't need to matter, but if you're saying that you feel ashamed, and you are attributing that to outside forces, maybe you need to look again. I just want to I just want peace, and I was like, I can't, you know, I just can't. Maybe she can't, but for her, peace means no one telling her anything. But, the moment she has no one, the moment, like, even in pretend, the moment she says, "Well, I've got complete freedom," she's dying of loneliness. She can't handle having nobody because she spirals. This is quite a freeze frame. Sorry. I don't want to always be wondering what he's doing, you know. Like I That is a trust issue. So long as you're with him, you're going to wonder that whether he's there or in Canada with you. No, he's just always busy, and like he has a really big social life, and I don't, so I'm always just here wondering, you know, when I'm going to hear from him and [ __ ] like that, and I just can't do that. Well, that seems like you need to build your own life cuz if you had stuff you were doing at the same time, you wouldn't be counting down the seconds. If your life is empty apart from him, you're going to focus on him more. This is just a cry for attention. I'm always just so paranoid and insecure, and yeah. And he's given you reason to be. Let's not forget that. But if trust is broken, trust is broken. You are not trustworthy, he is not trustworthy. Maybe you don't make a good pair. Who knows when the hell I'd be able to see him anyway? Who knows when this war is going to end? You were never going to Malaysia even if there wasn't a war. I don't know. I feel like they might have. I think she needed her medicine and didn't want to pay for it. I still think she was paying for the flight, but I think Malaysia, whatever paperwork in the background and was a moment for him, and I don't like this idea, but a moment for him to check in on her progress to see if it was worth going back into. Now, I don't like that as a concept, but I feel like if things were different internationally, that they would have gone. If he wanted to come here, it would be such a long process to sponsor him. She would need to clean up her act so much, and that's assuming they would even let her. Let's say tomorrow she woke up, no debts, everything paid off, she won the lottery, something. He's been denied access to Canada twice. Like, it would be a hard process even if she had all her ducks in a row. If we wanted to live somewhere else, that would be a pain in the ass. I don't know. I And that's what I think Malaysia was the start of. Maybe not moving, I think that would be a timed not now at least, but her not being happy in Canada, him being not safe in Syria, maybe a look at what else could happen. Cuz the grass is always greener. Like accepts me for who I am. Like somebody maybe who likes fat women because Maybe it's not your fat. Have you considered I know it's so easy to blame the fat. But I've said before, all this talk about like feces and everything she shares online, it's not normal. Her obsession with bodily functions and sharing them and laughing at them is abnormal, and I know normal is a construct, but still, that's strange. She has really lost any sense of what it's like to interact socially offline. And with all those social barriers eroding, she we get what we get with her now. So, maybe the fact and this sounds so mean because like Steve likes to say, there's a lid for every pot. Maybe the fact that you're not finding someone to accept you is because there are lots of ways that you're unacceptable at the moment. And I feel really bad saying that because I don't know. I don't feel like people should have to change for other people. But, let's just say this then. She is shrinking the pool of people willing to consider her if she stays the way she is and that's fine. You want to say, I want to make no changes and have somebody but you live up to that. That is absolutely fine. But, she doesn't seem ready to say, I don't want anybody. You can take a hard line in saying, I am who I am and you can be happy and satisfied with it, but you have to understand that the balance of that is you are saying, I'd rather be alone than compromise to somebody else. And you can do that, but she doesn't want to do that. And when you blame everything on your weight, it means you don't look at the other things. And I think that's going to be her major problem with those Olympic. It's if it impacts her ability to surround herself with food, everything else it throws up and that's what we saw last time. I I am working on losing weight, but I don't want it to be like a conditional thing. And it shouldn't be. And that's what I'm talking about. Like, I did not like the idea that Sal was like, well, let's see you where you are in a year. I don't think she's going to change anything, but she was the one who agreed with that. So, to say, I don't like these terms after you've agreed to them. Well, you agreed to them. You don't have to stick to it, but again, the consequence of that is saying, "Okay, well, we're not doing that anymore." And she doesn't seem ready for that consequence. He didn't say anything. Oh, he hasn't answered me. Go This >> showing the one tick again, like he's Guys, we had this whole conversation. I was like, "Oh, and they they've had a talk." And no. What she's done is her mind's gone feral during the night because she can't get in touch with him, and she desperately needs the attention and the reassurance. And so, she sent him a novel on text about this that he hasn't received yet. So, we get this clip because the squirrels in her head are running around. This This is why you need therapy. And then he gets mad because she goes online and says all their business, and he hasn't even had a chance to respond. Jesus. Can you just imagine, like, when we talk about problems that are not white, every week or two, waking up to a text like that and having to deal with it and deal with the audience knowing about it? It'd be exhausting. Probably somewhere, who knows where. I have no [ __ ] idea. He doesn't even tell me, like, who he's with, what he does. Like, I have no idea. It's like You know what he's doing. You suspect what he's doing, but why are you accepting this then? Just call it a day. Be like, "This doesn't work." You were with him in Kuwait for 2 years and in Syria for months. You've got an idea whether you want to admit it or not. Lying for me. He tells me little things here and there when I ask, but I don't like prying. I don't like sounding [ __ ] desperate and paranoid. You are desperate and paranoid. I'm sorry. I don't like sounding like how I am. Then change who you are. No, I won't do that. Okay. But if you don't like where you are, your only solution is to change it. And if you don't want to change it, you have to deal with where you are. >> And if I have to constant constantly be worried about that, I'd rather just be single and live in peace. No, she wants him to come online and beg him from the everyone, which I think he actually does. Or he comes online, I think. He used to wear a size medium. We're married and you know If I F if if you're married, hmm. But no, he doesn't That's why I don't pry him. Pry him? >> Cuz he doesn't have to, but I don't That I don't want that. Like I want to be able to be with someone I can I know what they're doing. Yeah, that's what he says, you have to just trust me. I mean, you have to trust people in relationships. Do I find him trustworthy? No. Do I find her trustworthy? No. So it sounds like a bad deal, really. Yeah, my weight I don't want it to be an issue. Your weight is an issue because your weight is having a knock-on effect with every medical condition you have. And I know that she'll argue that well, no, skinny people have XYZ medical conditions. But she's at the point where I mean, have we seen her leave the house without the scooter? She says she's not housebound, but have we seen her leave the house without the scooter now it's broken. Whether she likes it or not, her weight is a major issue both for her comorbidities and for her ability to move. What is she doing with her lips right now? I don't want to be with anybody. All right, so don't be. Is she missing a filter here because she looks so much older in this in this stream? And I know this is going to sound like nonsense, but I don't actually mean to be insulting there, but she she really does look like she's aged. Not just that, I'm just having a bad depression day. That's going to get more and more frequent as her ability to um soothe with food becomes more compromised. What I tend to get when I'm on Wegovy is if I eat too much. So, when I had the surgery, I used to have this problem of if I ate more like a bite too many, I'd feel quite sick because there's only so much space, right? And then with time, you learn kind of what your limits are and how to read the warning signs and stuff like that. Going on Wegovy was like going back to that. You had to relearn your body signals. But she's so far into this, she's got so many signals her body is giving her that something is wrong, she will not adhere to them. So, she's just going to feel sick the whole time and not know why. Because like I feel like I don't want to be on all these medicines, but I feel like I don't get to control myself. As much as I don't sympathize with her, the idea of someone feeling like that in general is something I sympathize with. Looking and saying I can see the damage this is doing and I don't feel like I can control it myself. There is a reason I needed interventional medicine to do this. And there is a reason why, completely honestly, I believe I will always need a little bit of extra help there. Even with work, even with more reflection and more recognition of my behaviors, I don't feel I have that fundamental level of control around food that some people have. I feel like it has too much sway on my life and I need help there. So, this were we four or five years earlier than we are right now, I'd feel so bad for her. But she's had so many opportunities, so I'm just like, "Okay, do something about it. It's possible. It won't be easy, but do something about it." And this is where we are. It's just that it's just me. I'm just very insecure. You know? Yeah, I know. But also you cheated right from the start, so you know. >> doesn't work right away. That's a change of topic. It depends. It can do. I I she'll need to build it a tiny bit. I think she should be careful cuz sometimes it can affect your digestive system and hers is already inconsistent and unreliable. But I think with her just building the dose right now, I think it might take her a week or two to feel a difference. But I could be wrong. Really? Honestly, I feel this other pressure like I'm always I have to all this anxiety because I know this sounds weird, but like I'm going to say it's not going to sound weird. When I was with him, he really was taking care of a lot of like stuff. Bills and everything, money, helping out. And me and now I'm on my own and I feel like I'm scared to let myself down and that I'm not able to take care of myself even though I've been able to since I'm 16. That's not weird. Yeah? I choose to be alone, but I have had that anxiety. And one of the things that helped me with that is going through my life, like taking care of like the finances and stuff and getting myself into a more secure position because that is actually completely true. If you are doing things by yourself, you are responsible for your own safety net. And that's something Chantelle has never had. And even me, like I am in my early 40s now. I didn't really start getting my um my pension behind me. I didn't really start putting my savings in place until I'm was like 39 coming into 40 until I really moved to Oman and then I really focused on it and that's how I've gotten my security in place because one thing about getting older, my 30s were a bit messy. I was making other life changes like the surgery, like other things. And then you have to face it as you get older because you need the time to sort it out. And that can take time. I was behind. I feel like I'm more more on track now for my age, but I was behind and I need to keep on track to keep to the plan. Foodie, in theory, could do that, but in practice, won't. Because yes, Foodie has been out of her parental home since she was 16, but she's never really been independent. And the moments when she's had the chance to be independent, she has wrecked herself. Like let's just take her as an adult and look at finances as an example. She had the bankruptcy and she didn't learn from it and she went bankrupt again. Her problem here isn't that she can't do it, it's that she won't learn her lessons. Because everybody makes mistakes and life is hard. Life is hard and you have to choose your best way to get through it. I looked at my life and I said, "You know what? I am behind. I don't have these things in place. I'm going to make choices to get a job somewhere where my outgoings are low so I can catch up." And that is one of the reasons I work in the Middle East because a lot of the costs associated with working in the UK, I can put towards other things. Foodie had that opportunity in Kuwait. She had the opportunity to get rid of a lot of her debts and she said she put some money towards them, like she did some of it. But she's also made the other choices she's made. And now she's in a situation where her money isn't going as far. She's not earning as much and her outgoings are now higher. She can do things about it, but it does take self-control and that's something she doesn't have right now. Maybe the Ozempic will help with that. Maybe it will cut her costs in certain areas and that will build the momentum, but she has a very pronounced way of just switching to other things and that's why we always say therapy for her because it's not a lack of opportunities that has got her here, but she cannot get rid of some of those anxieties without change, and she just won't change. But, it's like I'm just worried like I don't have much security in life. Like, on social media, you don't have like job security. >> You really don't. And she earns so much. Imagine if she had put half away in those two years. Imagine if she had just paid off her debt so she didn't have the worry of her uh her debt and her repayments coming up so she could just live on what she has. Sorry, I keep stopping it, but I'm just like you you could have done so much. And I know that doesn't help her now, but even now she can make changes that she just doesn't make and then she cries about. Like, okay, Shontel, at some point you have to grow up, love. It won't be as easy as it could have been, but you still have this job, you still have this wage, you still have these possibilities. Get through the next year, move somewhere cheaper, and make better choices. I've made a too much of a mess right now to go get a normal job. Yeah, she couldn't work for an employer in an office somewhere. >> I'm saying that I need a job like Alhamdulillah, I can afford to provide for myself, which I'm very thankful for. She can, but she'll forever live paycheck to paycheck because whatever she earns is whatever she spends. She won't have any kind of restraint in her life. But, I just for some reason I have this like invasive thought, irrational fear that like I'm just not able to. That's not irrational. The way she lives is not sustainable. It is a rational fear that she should address. Like, [ __ ] Anyway, I just wanted to vent about things that are worrying me. I don't want to subject him to In the middle of the night where she's got no one else and no relationships and no intention of change, she realizes the consequences her choice could have and then she does nothing about them. That is always worrying and annoying and Anyway, no, I haven't heard from uh What is her lip doing? She used to have a bit of a twitch like every now and again it would get her. Is the anxiety just bringing that back? I haven't heard from uh YouTube. She only applied a few days ago, right? I mean, I know with Rosie getting hers back really quickly, at least I think she did. I think that's what I heard on Poppy's channel. I don't actually watch her directly. I imagine she was hoping she'd get it done quickly. But did Rosie delete to everything on her channel? Did she like pick out a few things? Cuz I think the issue Chantal is going to have is that is that she doesn't have enough content to uh to judge essentially. And she's not putting content up on YouTube. Who is Peter to pick? I saw Oh. And there's Alora's. And you saw immediately the side glance. She knows what she did. Like, "Oh, you didn't want to hear this? You told me not to do this?" Yeah. The baby rat face like, "No, wasn't doing anything. No, no, it's fine." I didn't say that. So, I didn't say you're marrying your cousin. Yes, you you said you were afraid he was going to You spoke about it like it was a hard possibility. I said I'm scared you're going to I was telling people that You shouldn't have told them anything. I'm too insecure for a relationship cuz I'm always worried. Yeah, you are. And he's also said don't bring that [ __ ] online. Which I imagine hasn't helped. >> Wait, you have to pay more for the dose? I think she means the Ozempic here. You do? Um here for the lower doses of Wegovy, it's like 180. And then I think the top three or four doses are are like 200, but it's not a big difference. Okay, every month before I have to pay for my medication, I'll do a 12-hour stream. God. So, she's saying she makes $250 for streaming for 12 hours. I mean unless she's hoping for donations. So, what she's telling you is guys, I don't have the money for this. Make sure you donate. $250 Canadian is really not a bad price. And considering she has confirmed she spends at least $100 a day in um deliveries, she could easily budget this. And I would even say should prioritize budgeting this because I think it would do more for her health. Give her a chance. >> I didn't say he was going to marry his cousin cuz I'm scared that I will happen. Try and wiggle your way out of that one. Or not cousin, but just somebody. No, you said cousin. No, you're scared he's going to meet someone. You're scared he's going to marry his cousin. That's exactly what you said. And it's on stream. Every month is more. Not every month. Oh, it might be different in Canada. Anyways, we'll we'll talk privately. Oh, will we? After you've talked publicly, interesting. She done [ __ ] up. Not as Sorry, I had it on the playlist, so. Not a surprise cuz she's done it before and you would think he would know she would do it again, but here we are. So, I'm going to edit this and I will see you next time. Bye-bye, guys.